Not Ready to Double Down

There are a handful of baby things that I'm not ready to buy-into quite yet (and some of them NEVER).  Some of them seem pointless to me.  Some of them seem excessive.  Some of them seem paranoid.  Some of them seem like they're more for the parents than the baby (think 30 person first birthday party with booze).  And some are just plain stupid.  Here are some of the things I've run into over the past eight months (YEAH, it's been eight+ months since I was officially pregnant):

(1) Wipe Warmers - Really, REALLY?  To me, it's just another thing that we need to plug in and find space for.  I know babies don't like chilly things, but COME ON.  If it's that big of a deal, just "haaaaaaaah" on it a couple times like you would your gloveless hands in 30 degree weather. We don't need one more thing that wastes power and runs-up our power bill.  I love you L Bean, but no wipe warmer for you.

(2) Diaper Genie/Diaper Pail - I can totally see why people purchase these, and I even had one on our registry for a while.  But they still stink, and after a few months the wee/poo smell soaks into the plastic (even with a liner).  We take our trash out every-other-day, if not every day.  Why can't we just throw the dirties in the big-kid trash can?  Five out of the seven days of the week our trash can already smells like Henrik farted.

(3) Baby detergent - I'm a little torn on this one.  Deft is EXPENSIVE.  And I've heard countless accounts of regular detergent being just fine and dandy, as long as it's fragrence free.  Why spend the extra money if your baby doesm't have sensitive skin and doesn't react to good ol' fragrence free ALL or Tide?  I guess I could just be like this chick and MAKE my own detergent.  And cue laughter.

(4) Bottle warmers - Again, just another thing we need to find space for and plug into the wall.  Babies like warm milk, that's a given.  I believe (and don't quote me on this because I haven't tasted/felt it) breast milk comes out luke-warm?  For the first little while, problem solved!  When we introduce a bottle, however, we have to make a decision.  Obviously we'll have to thaw frozen breast milk, but I'm not sure that I want to heat it up past room temperature.  If your baby is used to WARM milk, and all you have is semi-chilled milk, you're DONE FOR.  Why not get baby used to non-warmed milk from the get go?  Or at the very least heat that bad boy up on the stove or in the micro (yes, I am aware that microwaves can create hot spots) when you're in a "the baby is FREAKING OUT and reaching unheard-of deciple levels" pinch. 

(5) Kid on a leash - Please, for the love of PETE, don't put your kid on a leash.  Hold his hand.  Teach him to stay close.  I don't know, WATCH him. Or chase his little behind around.  He's a KID.  He's not going to listen to you at all times.  He is, however, going to look you right in the eye and DEFY whatever it is you've commanded of him.  Yes, if your kid is on a leash I'm most likely juding you.  I just can't help it. Although, if they came-out with a Kid-Flexi leash, I just may have to eat my words. 

(6) Baby robes - Cute, yes.  Necessary, no.  Unless you can dry-off your kid with that robe, it's just one too many things.  If you must spend the money, get one of those adorbs hooded towels instead (I DIE).  You can even get one monogrammed!

(7) Organic cotton sheets, crib bedding, clothes, blankets, towels, EVERYTHING - I'm all for eating organic, but girl, please.  $24 bucks for an organic cotton long-sleeved bodysuit? You crazy.

(8) Let's talk nursery bedding/decor - Okay, we purchased a bedding set (fitted sheet, quilt, bumper, dustruffle).  We probably could have done without, but hello, it's really CUTE.  We did not, however, purchase the 800 other items available with the set.   Like the decorative, TINY pillow for $25.  And the $30 diaper stacker - let's be real here: how annoying will it be to refill that bad boy?  And how much are you REALLY going to care about how cute it is when you're three weeks in, you're already refilled it six times, it's 3 AM, and it's empty AGAIN.  Or the valence, wallhanging, wall border - there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. I'm just sayin.

(9) Baby shoes (0 to 6 months) - Is your baby walking at 6 months?  Are those $24 Puma speedcats really serving any purpose?  Uh oh, a week has passed, and he's already grown out of them.  Shucks.  Get some socks with grippies.  Although, you know he's just going to kick those off too.

(10) Changing table - What are you going to do with that changing table when you're no longer changing your sweet pea?  This one is tricky because a long dresser can be WAY more expensive than a changing table, and sometimes you just can't swing it.  But if you can, swing for the dresser that you can throw a changing pad and a basket on.

Just my ten cents.  Now hop over to our registry and judge me for all of the pointless things I've registered for.