Warning: Boys, you may want to steer clear of this one. I'm just sayin'.
For me, recovery was far worse than labor and delivery. When I was in labor, I found sanity and relief in the fact that it would END and it would end soon. With recovery, there's no telling when I'll be back to normal. And who's to say that I'll ever feel normal again. Maybe I'll have to redefine my normal.
The fluids, oh the fluids. I spent the first week and a half wearing the mesh panties that hospital gave me (they were so comfortable. I wish it was appropriate to wear them all of the time) and a GIANT maxi-pad. Every time I would nurse, my uterus would contract and cramp, and I would bleed. That's just how it goes. Over the weeks, I slowly stepped down the size of the pad. I'm a tampon girl, so wearing a pad was awful (although the thought of a tampon right now makes me shudder). I was also given a steroid foam to help with general healing of my lady bits. For me, putting a pad soaked in witch hazel on the maxi-pad was really soothing. My bleeding really slowed by four weeks, and it ended by the end of five weeks. I was SO glad to see the pads go. G-R-O-S-S.
Luckily, I didn't tear. I am so thankful for that. I didn't tear because my doctor massaged my perineum for an hour. And by massaged, I mean he stretched it. At one point he told me that I would be screaming from what he was doing if I didn't have the epidural. I remember him trying to make room for Liam's head by putting both of his hands ALL THE WAY in my lady bits. Ouch. All of that stretching left me bruised and battered. For the first two weeks of Liam's life, I went from the bed to the glider to nurse and back to the bed. Thankfully Liam only ate and slept at that point, but I missed-out on really enjoying the first two to three weeks at home with my son. But I'm not exaggerating when I say I couldn't sit down. When I could finally sit (on the couch and at the kitchen table), I couldn't sit without a pillow. Even in the glider (which has a cushion) I used a pillow. It took me four weeks to get rid of the pillow. After that, I avoided hard surfaces as much as possible or I would sit more on one side of my butt. Today, I am sore at the end of the day. It's manageable, and more annoying than anything. At my appointment two weeks ago, my doctor said it can take up to 12 weeks to really start feeling good, and I totally believe him.
Along with my perineum, my right labia fell victim to delivery. We're not entirely sure how it happened because everything happened so fast, but we think it got caught-up in the vacuum. Sitting forward HURT. The labia went beyond uncomfortable and into painful. It would also bleed. The only comfortable position for me to sleep was on my side (laying on my back hurt my butt until about week five and laying on my baby feeding boobies still isn't an option), but I HAD to have a pillow between my legs. The pressure on my labia without the pillow was terrible. I didn't know this until my doctors appointment at five weeks postpartum, but nursing is an estrogen suppressant. And estrogen is what heals the wreckage that is your lady bits. So if you nurse, you heal slower. My doctor barely moved my labia, and I was squirming and saying, "Ouch, ow, ow ow." He sent me home with an estrogen cream to apply at night. I've been doing it for two weeks now, and it has made a HUGE difference. I actually feel like my labia is healing. I am so thankful for that, because I was worried that I would be something that I'd have to deal with for a long time.
Other than the lady bits issues, I was exhausted for the first two weeks. Not sleepy tired, but just physically exhausted. But I suppose that's to be expected with a new baby at home :)
For me, recovery sucked. I loved being pregnant, and I love being a mom. I even love having a newborn around who wakes-up every two to three hours. For those reasons, I definitely want more children. But to be honest, recovering again terrifies me. In the end, it's completely worth it. And maybe next time the birth won't be so traumatic and recovery won't be so hard. It's definitely not enough to keep me away from having a second... eventually.
Showing posts with label Birth Story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Birth Story. Show all posts
Birth Story: Part V
This post should probably come with a warning: It's TMI.
First, let me say this: Pushing sucked. SUCKED for me. I had read and been told that pushing brought some relief to the pain and pressure. LIES. At least it didn't for me. When I finally got to 10 cm, I was feeling a lot of pressure in my butt. The pressure doesn't come in your lady bits, it literally comes in your "bottom," as the PC nurses and doctors say. The pressure isn't painful, but it sure is annoying and uncomfortable.
Second: Epidurals are great because they take away the pain. That is until your Nurse and Doctor decide to TURN IT DOWN. Yeah, they don't tell you that in the birth classes. Many doctors like to turn down or turn OFF the epidural to create more urgency for the mother to push. NOT COOL. At one point, DES looked at me and literally said, "Since it's you, I'm being nice and I haven't turned it off yet." So not cool. With the epidural almost turned off, things started to hurt, even the pressure.
By the time I started to push, I was exhausted. I hadn't eaten anything since the afternoon before. I don't know about you, but I'm that person that gets light-headed and weak after four or five hours without food. So I was hurting for some sugar/calories. I pushed in an inclined position on my back. When I started to feel the pressure/pain of each contraction, DES wanted me to lift my head and shoulders off the bed, put my chin to my chest, pull my legs back with my hands, and push. Husband was holding the right leg and Awesome Nurse Pam was on the left. I pushed three times for 10 seconds during contraction, taking one deep breath in between each push. With my second, I will refuse to pull-back on my legs on my own. I was pulling back so hard that my arms would start to shake. I feel like all of my energy and concentration was wasted on the wrong action. Next time, I'll use the Nurse and Husband ONLY to bear-down against.
For whatever reason, I couldn't focus on pushing in the correct area. In short, I wasn't a very good pusher. I was a quiet, focused laborer, but a terrible pusher. Well, maybe terrible is a strong word. I wasn't very skilled. I only had a handful of pushes that were REALLY concentrated in the right area. Also in hindsight, I don't know if pushing on my back was the best position for me. Maybe laying on my side or squatting would have been better. With the epidural, however, I was limited to my back.
Pushing was also hard because Liam was big. He weighed over 8 pounds, and he had a big head (at 37 weeks, his head was measuring 42 weeks. YEAH. Feel sorry for me). And I'm not the biggest/widest person in the world. DES kept saying that I only needed to get him 1 cm further to get him past my pelvic bone and then he'd be free! I just couldn't do it. At one point, ANP told me to reach down and feel his head. She kept saying, "It's right there, it's right there. Come on Betsy!" I had zero interest. She wanted me to be motivated by the fact that he was so close. After I continued to refuse, Liam continued to be stuck, and Liam's heart rate continued to drop with each contraction, she finally grabbed my hand and put it on his head. It felt wet and mushy. Feeling his head didn't do anything for my motivation. I was exhausted, I was in pain, and I wanted him OUT.
And then he his my perineum. HOLY CRAP. It hurt. It hurt so badly. I can't even explain the pain. This is when I started screaming. Literally. I'd been SO quiet and focused through the entire experience, until the last five minutes of pushing. I remember DES tell ANP to get the vacuum. I'm pushing and screaming and making all sorts of animal noises. I kept repeating, "GET HIM OUT. GET HIM OUT NOW." I was done. I was exhausted, frustrated, in pain, and now I was scared. Things were getting serious, fast. DES told me that during the next contraction he wanted me to take the oxygen mask off and push until he told me to stop. He was going to use the vacuum to get Liam out. I wasn't getting the job done, and his heart rate was getting really low. At this point, I shut my eyes, and I shut them TIGHT. I knew I didn't want to see what was about to happen. It would scare/traumatize me. I didn't see any of it, but I sure felt it.
It all happened so fast. The contraction came, and I bared-down. I felt DES get the vacuum in place, and I felt him pull. The feeling of Liam coming out is hard to explain. I swear I felt gushing fluid, but I'm not sure because my eyes were closed. It hurt. It hurts bunches. It felt like it took forever for him to get out. And all the while I'm screaming (I swear it was like something from a movie. I just couldn't control it. I wouldn't be a very good Scientologist). When he was out, I opened my eyes. DES was holding him upside down and suctioning his mouth and nose. Husband got really emotional, but I was really out of it. My brain and heart couldn't connect with what had just happened (read: my son was just born!). Liam wasn't crying, and he looked purple. I kept saying, "He needs to cry. He's not crying. He just needs to cry." The nurses (more nurses came to investigate when they heard my screaming. I wish I was joking, but I'm being totally serious) whisked him away to the warming station to work their magic, and he finally cried after what felt like an eternity. Really it was just 10 to 15 seconds. It took me a while to bond with Liam and the fact that I'd just given birth because I didn't get to hold him right away. I had dreamt of Liam being born and put on my chest immediately. Of Husband cutting the cord. Of him taking his first big breath right there in front of me. But it didn't matter in the end because he was healthy.
I remember asking DES why it still hurt. Oh yeah, the placenta. It didn't take long for me to deliver the placenta, Liam had cleared a path for it. Husband said it was the funniest thing seeing DES holding/tugging on the cord that was hanging out of my lady bits.
After the placenta was out, it STILL hurt. Why!?!?! Oh yeah, I'd just given birth. I guess I expected all of the pain to just go away. Also, the vacuum snagged my right labia and tore it. Yeah, chew on that one, Ladies. It wasn't something that could really be stitched-up either. Thankfully I didn't tear, and I have DES to thank for that. He spent the entire hour+ of pushing stretching my perineum. Husband said at one point he looked down and saw both of DES's hands in my lady bits and he was PULLING down. I was sore for WEEKS from the stretching (I'll detail my recovery in another post), but I am so thankful that I didn't tear.
Eventually, I got to hold Liam and my entire world changed in a millisecond. I will never forget how he looked up at me and just stared when he heard my voice. I was a mom, and I was my son. It doesn't get much better than that.
First, let me say this: Pushing sucked. SUCKED for me. I had read and been told that pushing brought some relief to the pain and pressure. LIES. At least it didn't for me. When I finally got to 10 cm, I was feeling a lot of pressure in my butt. The pressure doesn't come in your lady bits, it literally comes in your "bottom," as the PC nurses and doctors say. The pressure isn't painful, but it sure is annoying and uncomfortable.
Second: Epidurals are great because they take away the pain. That is until your Nurse and Doctor decide to TURN IT DOWN. Yeah, they don't tell you that in the birth classes. Many doctors like to turn down or turn OFF the epidural to create more urgency for the mother to push. NOT COOL. At one point, DES looked at me and literally said, "Since it's you, I'm being nice and I haven't turned it off yet." So not cool. With the epidural almost turned off, things started to hurt, even the pressure.
By the time I started to push, I was exhausted. I hadn't eaten anything since the afternoon before. I don't know about you, but I'm that person that gets light-headed and weak after four or five hours without food. So I was hurting for some sugar/calories. I pushed in an inclined position on my back. When I started to feel the pressure/pain of each contraction, DES wanted me to lift my head and shoulders off the bed, put my chin to my chest, pull my legs back with my hands, and push. Husband was holding the right leg and Awesome Nurse Pam was on the left. I pushed three times for 10 seconds during contraction, taking one deep breath in between each push. With my second, I will refuse to pull-back on my legs on my own. I was pulling back so hard that my arms would start to shake. I feel like all of my energy and concentration was wasted on the wrong action. Next time, I'll use the Nurse and Husband ONLY to bear-down against.
For whatever reason, I couldn't focus on pushing in the correct area. In short, I wasn't a very good pusher. I was a quiet, focused laborer, but a terrible pusher. Well, maybe terrible is a strong word. I wasn't very skilled. I only had a handful of pushes that were REALLY concentrated in the right area. Also in hindsight, I don't know if pushing on my back was the best position for me. Maybe laying on my side or squatting would have been better. With the epidural, however, I was limited to my back.
Pushing was also hard because Liam was big. He weighed over 8 pounds, and he had a big head (at 37 weeks, his head was measuring 42 weeks. YEAH. Feel sorry for me). And I'm not the biggest/widest person in the world. DES kept saying that I only needed to get him 1 cm further to get him past my pelvic bone and then he'd be free! I just couldn't do it. At one point, ANP told me to reach down and feel his head. She kept saying, "It's right there, it's right there. Come on Betsy!" I had zero interest. She wanted me to be motivated by the fact that he was so close. After I continued to refuse, Liam continued to be stuck, and Liam's heart rate continued to drop with each contraction, she finally grabbed my hand and put it on his head. It felt wet and mushy. Feeling his head didn't do anything for my motivation. I was exhausted, I was in pain, and I wanted him OUT.
And then he his my perineum. HOLY CRAP. It hurt. It hurt so badly. I can't even explain the pain. This is when I started screaming. Literally. I'd been SO quiet and focused through the entire experience, until the last five minutes of pushing. I remember DES tell ANP to get the vacuum. I'm pushing and screaming and making all sorts of animal noises. I kept repeating, "GET HIM OUT. GET HIM OUT NOW." I was done. I was exhausted, frustrated, in pain, and now I was scared. Things were getting serious, fast. DES told me that during the next contraction he wanted me to take the oxygen mask off and push until he told me to stop. He was going to use the vacuum to get Liam out. I wasn't getting the job done, and his heart rate was getting really low. At this point, I shut my eyes, and I shut them TIGHT. I knew I didn't want to see what was about to happen. It would scare/traumatize me. I didn't see any of it, but I sure felt it.
It all happened so fast. The contraction came, and I bared-down. I felt DES get the vacuum in place, and I felt him pull. The feeling of Liam coming out is hard to explain. I swear I felt gushing fluid, but I'm not sure because my eyes were closed. It hurt. It hurts bunches. It felt like it took forever for him to get out. And all the while I'm screaming (I swear it was like something from a movie. I just couldn't control it. I wouldn't be a very good Scientologist). When he was out, I opened my eyes. DES was holding him upside down and suctioning his mouth and nose. Husband got really emotional, but I was really out of it. My brain and heart couldn't connect with what had just happened (read: my son was just born!). Liam wasn't crying, and he looked purple. I kept saying, "He needs to cry. He's not crying. He just needs to cry." The nurses (more nurses came to investigate when they heard my screaming. I wish I was joking, but I'm being totally serious) whisked him away to the warming station to work their magic, and he finally cried after what felt like an eternity. Really it was just 10 to 15 seconds. It took me a while to bond with Liam and the fact that I'd just given birth because I didn't get to hold him right away. I had dreamt of Liam being born and put on my chest immediately. Of Husband cutting the cord. Of him taking his first big breath right there in front of me. But it didn't matter in the end because he was healthy.
After the placenta was out, it STILL hurt. Why!?!?! Oh yeah, I'd just given birth. I guess I expected all of the pain to just go away. Also, the vacuum snagged my right labia and tore it. Yeah, chew on that one, Ladies. It wasn't something that could really be stitched-up either. Thankfully I didn't tear, and I have DES to thank for that. He spent the entire hour+ of pushing stretching my perineum. Husband said at one point he looked down and saw both of DES's hands in my lady bits and he was PULLING down. I was sore for WEEKS from the stretching (I'll detail my recovery in another post), but I am so thankful that I didn't tear.
Eventually, I got to hold Liam and my entire world changed in a millisecond. I will never forget how he looked up at me and just stared when he heard my voice. I was a mom, and I was my son. It doesn't get much better than that.
Birth Story: Part IV
When Awesome Nurse Pam arrived for the day shift, so did Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban. I've expressed my love for my doctor before, but I love him even more after L&D Day. At 7 am he walked in with a venti coffee and a smile that could make any girl weak in the knees. He gave me a big hug and told me to hurry up because he's been looking forward to this for a week.
First thing Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban did was check my progress. 5 cm. Woop, half way there! He chit chatted for a few minutes, and then scurried away (to watch my monitor from the nurses station as I would later find out). All the while, Awesome Nurse Pam is coming in and out, checking on me, the monitors, my fluids, my pain level, etc. On a side note: IV fluids suck. As if I wasn't swollen enough from pregnancy, add three or four bags of IV fluid to the mix. I was a WHALE. It took over a week for me to see my ankles again.
Shortly after Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban leaves, Awesome Nurse Pam comes in to discuss an epidural. She asks if I'm ready for it (I'm 6 cm at this point), and I decline. The pain is manageable, and I'm not ready to be confined to the bed. I suggest that she come back in an hour and ask again. Hopefully I would by 7 cm and, and ready for the epi. At this point she informs me that the anesthesiologist is about to go into surgery so it's now or never. By the time he would get out of surgery, I would probably be in transition and it would be too late.
It was a no-brainer to accept the epidural at that point. The thought of transition and pushing without an epidural terrified me. So enter Caterpillar Eyebrows Anesthesiologist (I don't know his real name). When I was pregnant, I thought I would be nervous about the pain involved with an epidural. When you're experiencing contractions every 30 to 90 seconds, the last thing you care about is the pain of getting an epidural. You welcome it to ease the other pain. I sat indian-style in the middle of the bed and leaned against Husband. I couldn't get my back into the correct position, so Caterpillar Eyebrows Anesthesiologist had to try THREE times. That's six needle sticks - three local and three epi tries. To be honest, I don't even remember the pain involved, so it must not have been too bad. Just some burning. Blood makes Husband queasy, so when he saw blood on the anesthesiologist's gloves, it was either sit down or hurl. I remember him starting to lean oddly, and I said something to Awesome Nurse Pam about Husband needing to sit down. So I spent the third and final epi try leaning against ANP.
With the epidural in, Awesome Nurse Pam got me re-situated in bed. Within 15 minutes, I couldn't feel or move anything below my chest. You get a heavy dose in the beginning, but thankfully that wears off. After an hour or so, I could move my legs on my own. Before that, if my legs slid off the pillow ANP had wedged between my legs, I had to ask Husband to move it back. And let me tell you - a limp leg is WAY heavier than you'd think. Personally, I hated the epidural sensation (more on that in a different post). However, I was pain free so that was nice.
At 9:15 am, Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban broke my water. Since I was epiduraled, I didn't feel anything associated with my water being broken. Not even a gush or wetness on the puppy pads I was laying on. I am hoping that with the second one I get to experience my water breaking on its own. Or at least get to feel it when the Doc does it.
Between my water breaking and pushing (heck, even pushing is a little blurry) everything is a blur. Roughly three hours passed in what seemed like seconds. At 10:00 am, I was 8 cm, but could be stretched to 9 cm. At 10:40 am, I was 9 cm. And then I got stuck at 9 cm for over an hour. Twice Awesome Nurse Pam tried to push the remaining lip of my cervix back. If I hadn't been numb, I bet that would have HURT. She was successful the second time. At 8 cm, I started to feel pressure in my pelvis. At first I thought I was feeling pain, so I clicked the epidural button a few times for an extra dose. Within 15 minutes, I was SUPER numb again and really annoyed with myself. Once I realized I was feeling pressure, I made Husband take the button away from me because I WANTED to feel the pressure. I knew the pressure would make me want to push more and harder when the time came. The pressure didn't hurt, but it was definitely uncomfortable. It also didn't make me feel an urgency to push like I had hoped it would.
What I DO remember over the three hours is Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban coming in and out of my room checking on my progress. He wanted to check my cervix every 30 minutes, ANP kept quipping at him to be patient. Him and Awesome Nurse Pam (who had obviously worked together a lot before) kept bickering back and forth. It was seriously entertaining. Every time Liam's heart rate dropped, ANP keep saying he was "trying to show off for us again." I think that was her way of trying to not alarm me. But it was pretty obvious from the unspoken words exchanged between ANP and DES that the situation could turn bad quickly.
Also, my mom came to the hospital to hang out in the room around 10 am. I talked to her on the phone, and I was obvious that she wanted so badly to be there. She didn't want to impose, but I could tell that she NEEDED to be with her daughter. And to be honest, it was so nice having her there. We chit chatted on and off, she talked with DES (he's a family friend), and knitted nervously. Husband and I actually invited her to stay for pushing, but she respectfully declined. She said that Liam's actual birth needed to be a moment between just Husband and me. In hindsight, that was an incredibly unselfish move. I KNOW she would have loved to experience that with us, but she knew how important that moment would be.
When it was time to push, it was clear that DES wanted Liam out NOW. I didn't realize until my head was clear just how close he was to being a c-section baby. At 11:58 pm, the bed was set-up to start pushing and ANP started prepped the room for Liam's arrival.
First thing Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban did was check my progress. 5 cm. Woop, half way there! He chit chatted for a few minutes, and then scurried away (to watch my monitor from the nurses station as I would later find out). All the while, Awesome Nurse Pam is coming in and out, checking on me, the monitors, my fluids, my pain level, etc. On a side note: IV fluids suck. As if I wasn't swollen enough from pregnancy, add three or four bags of IV fluid to the mix. I was a WHALE. It took over a week for me to see my ankles again.
Shortly after Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban leaves, Awesome Nurse Pam comes in to discuss an epidural. She asks if I'm ready for it (I'm 6 cm at this point), and I decline. The pain is manageable, and I'm not ready to be confined to the bed. I suggest that she come back in an hour and ask again. Hopefully I would by 7 cm and, and ready for the epi. At this point she informs me that the anesthesiologist is about to go into surgery so it's now or never. By the time he would get out of surgery, I would probably be in transition and it would be too late.
It was a no-brainer to accept the epidural at that point. The thought of transition and pushing without an epidural terrified me. So enter Caterpillar Eyebrows Anesthesiologist (I don't know his real name). When I was pregnant, I thought I would be nervous about the pain involved with an epidural. When you're experiencing contractions every 30 to 90 seconds, the last thing you care about is the pain of getting an epidural. You welcome it to ease the other pain. I sat indian-style in the middle of the bed and leaned against Husband. I couldn't get my back into the correct position, so Caterpillar Eyebrows Anesthesiologist had to try THREE times. That's six needle sticks - three local and three epi tries. To be honest, I don't even remember the pain involved, so it must not have been too bad. Just some burning. Blood makes Husband queasy, so when he saw blood on the anesthesiologist's gloves, it was either sit down or hurl. I remember him starting to lean oddly, and I said something to Awesome Nurse Pam about Husband needing to sit down. So I spent the third and final epi try leaning against ANP.
With the epidural in, Awesome Nurse Pam got me re-situated in bed. Within 15 minutes, I couldn't feel or move anything below my chest. You get a heavy dose in the beginning, but thankfully that wears off. After an hour or so, I could move my legs on my own. Before that, if my legs slid off the pillow ANP had wedged between my legs, I had to ask Husband to move it back. And let me tell you - a limp leg is WAY heavier than you'd think. Personally, I hated the epidural sensation (more on that in a different post). However, I was pain free so that was nice.
At 9:15 am, Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban broke my water. Since I was epiduraled, I didn't feel anything associated with my water being broken. Not even a gush or wetness on the puppy pads I was laying on. I am hoping that with the second one I get to experience my water breaking on its own. Or at least get to feel it when the Doc does it.
Between my water breaking and pushing (heck, even pushing is a little blurry) everything is a blur. Roughly three hours passed in what seemed like seconds. At 10:00 am, I was 8 cm, but could be stretched to 9 cm. At 10:40 am, I was 9 cm. And then I got stuck at 9 cm for over an hour. Twice Awesome Nurse Pam tried to push the remaining lip of my cervix back. If I hadn't been numb, I bet that would have HURT. She was successful the second time. At 8 cm, I started to feel pressure in my pelvis. At first I thought I was feeling pain, so I clicked the epidural button a few times for an extra dose. Within 15 minutes, I was SUPER numb again and really annoyed with myself. Once I realized I was feeling pressure, I made Husband take the button away from me because I WANTED to feel the pressure. I knew the pressure would make me want to push more and harder when the time came. The pressure didn't hurt, but it was definitely uncomfortable. It also didn't make me feel an urgency to push like I had hoped it would.
What I DO remember over the three hours is Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban coming in and out of my room checking on my progress. He wanted to check my cervix every 30 minutes, ANP kept quipping at him to be patient. Him and Awesome Nurse Pam (who had obviously worked together a lot before) kept bickering back and forth. It was seriously entertaining. Every time Liam's heart rate dropped, ANP keep saying he was "trying to show off for us again." I think that was her way of trying to not alarm me. But it was pretty obvious from the unspoken words exchanged between ANP and DES that the situation could turn bad quickly.
Also, my mom came to the hospital to hang out in the room around 10 am. I talked to her on the phone, and I was obvious that she wanted so badly to be there. She didn't want to impose, but I could tell that she NEEDED to be with her daughter. And to be honest, it was so nice having her there. We chit chatted on and off, she talked with DES (he's a family friend), and knitted nervously. Husband and I actually invited her to stay for pushing, but she respectfully declined. She said that Liam's actual birth needed to be a moment between just Husband and me. In hindsight, that was an incredibly unselfish move. I KNOW she would have loved to experience that with us, but she knew how important that moment would be.
When it was time to push, it was clear that DES wanted Liam out NOW. I didn't realize until my head was clear just how close he was to being a c-section baby. At 11:58 pm, the bed was set-up to start pushing and ANP started prepped the room for Liam's arrival.
P.S. Sorry about the five parts. There's just too many details, and Part IV would have been way too long.
Birth Story: Part III
Once I was hooked-up to the Pictocin, my contractions really started to pick-up. By pick-up, we're talking every 30 to 90 seconds. Thankfully, they didn't last more than 30 to 45 seconds. Because they were short, they were manageable. When the Pitocin was started, I was in the hospital bed. And there I had to remain until Evil Night Nurse Katie was satisfied that I wouldn't react badly. Every once and a while, Liam's heart rate would still drop. I could tell this was really making Evil Night Nurse Katie nervous. Her poker face sucked.
Laboring in the bed was horrible. There was no way to get comfortable, and I felt completely confined. Evil Night Nurse Katie had me laying on my side to help with Liam's heart rate. My left side completely fell asleep. I asked to switch to my right. And then that side completely fell asleep. She also had me wearing the oxygen mask. I wore this mask for the rest of my labor, only taking it off a few times. The mask made breathing through contractions more complicated. And it smelled like plastic, which was awesome since my nose was buried in it. With each contraction, I would grip handles on the side of the bed and concentrate on breathing and relaxing the rest of my body. During my third trimester, I created a "labor and delivery" mix on my iPod. Thank goodness for that music. Everything online said to make a mix of calm, soothing music, but I knew better. I needed happy music. So I made a mix of John Mayer, Florence and the Machine, all three Twilight sound tracks, The Postal Service, Sara Barellias, Colbie Calait, and the like. Best decision ever. There were multiple times that I was singing in-between contractions.
At 6:22 am, I was allowed to move to the birthing ball. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Before I sat on it, Evil Night Nurse Katie put a puppy pad under it and draped puppy pads over it. I don't know if you knew this, but you leak a lot during (and after) labor. Each internal exam produces bloody gloves. And don't even get my started on the fluids.
When I got on the birthing ball, the Pitocin was also turned down. My contractions were on-top of each other, and it was obvious that my body was taking over. Josh's notes in the notebook say, "Contractions are more frequent and more painful." True, but the birthing ball made them SO much easier to manage. It was positioned right next to the bed. Close enough for me to rest my arms and head on the bed. In between contractions, I was upright and rocking back and forth. During contractions I either put my head down on the bed and rocked or rolled my head back and rocked. All the while, Josh was standing behind me so I could lean back if needed. I didn't want my shoulders or feet massaged during each contraction. I only wanted my head rubbed/scratched. It really helped to relax me.
In our birth class, the teacher told us about how contractions come on like a wave, peak, and then fade to nothing. It's SO true. They really did come on like a wave, starting small and growing. And when it was done, it was done. No pain. Nothing. Maybe some pressure if you were farther along in labor and the baby was dropped. The worst part about the contractions was that they were ON TOP of each other. The pain was manageable. But the frequency was wearing on me.
Since me and Liam needed to be monitored at all times, I couldn't leave the bed to use the bathroom. Josh's note in the notebook says, "6:40 am: First attempt at the bed pan: FAIL." There was never a second attempt. Major stage fright. Peeing in a bed pan in front of my husband and a nurse - no dice. Eventually, a catheter was used to drain my urine. And then a Foley bag a while later when my doctor realized that I produce A LOT of urine.
At 7:00 am there was a nurse change and Awesome Nurse Pam came back, as promised. Man was I glad to see her smiling face. She changed our "plan for today" on the white board to "Welcome Liam!" That's when it hit me that this was really happening.
Laboring in the bed was horrible. There was no way to get comfortable, and I felt completely confined. Evil Night Nurse Katie had me laying on my side to help with Liam's heart rate. My left side completely fell asleep. I asked to switch to my right. And then that side completely fell asleep. She also had me wearing the oxygen mask. I wore this mask for the rest of my labor, only taking it off a few times. The mask made breathing through contractions more complicated. And it smelled like plastic, which was awesome since my nose was buried in it. With each contraction, I would grip handles on the side of the bed and concentrate on breathing and relaxing the rest of my body. During my third trimester, I created a "labor and delivery" mix on my iPod. Thank goodness for that music. Everything online said to make a mix of calm, soothing music, but I knew better. I needed happy music. So I made a mix of John Mayer, Florence and the Machine, all three Twilight sound tracks, The Postal Service, Sara Barellias, Colbie Calait, and the like. Best decision ever. There were multiple times that I was singing in-between contractions.
At 6:22 am, I was allowed to move to the birthing ball. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Before I sat on it, Evil Night Nurse Katie put a puppy pad under it and draped puppy pads over it. I don't know if you knew this, but you leak a lot during (and after) labor. Each internal exam produces bloody gloves. And don't even get my started on the fluids.
When I got on the birthing ball, the Pitocin was also turned down. My contractions were on-top of each other, and it was obvious that my body was taking over. Josh's notes in the notebook say, "Contractions are more frequent and more painful." True, but the birthing ball made them SO much easier to manage. It was positioned right next to the bed. Close enough for me to rest my arms and head on the bed. In between contractions, I was upright and rocking back and forth. During contractions I either put my head down on the bed and rocked or rolled my head back and rocked. All the while, Josh was standing behind me so I could lean back if needed. I didn't want my shoulders or feet massaged during each contraction. I only wanted my head rubbed/scratched. It really helped to relax me.
In our birth class, the teacher told us about how contractions come on like a wave, peak, and then fade to nothing. It's SO true. They really did come on like a wave, starting small and growing. And when it was done, it was done. No pain. Nothing. Maybe some pressure if you were farther along in labor and the baby was dropped. The worst part about the contractions was that they were ON TOP of each other. The pain was manageable. But the frequency was wearing on me.
Since me and Liam needed to be monitored at all times, I couldn't leave the bed to use the bathroom. Josh's note in the notebook says, "6:40 am: First attempt at the bed pan: FAIL." There was never a second attempt. Major stage fright. Peeing in a bed pan in front of my husband and a nurse - no dice. Eventually, a catheter was used to drain my urine. And then a Foley bag a while later when my doctor realized that I produce A LOT of urine.
At 7:00 am there was a nurse change and Awesome Nurse Pam came back, as promised. Man was I glad to see her smiling face. She changed our "plan for today" on the white board to "Welcome Liam!" That's when it hit me that this was really happening.
Birth Story: Part II
I forgot to mention... We took a notebook to the hospital to record our thoughts and the events of labor and delivery. I knew I would be a little preoccupied, and I wanted a way to remember everything. I started-off writing in the notebook, and Husband took-over when things got heavy. Here is the transcription of the note pertaining to Part I.
2:30 pm: Registered at the adminission office.
2:55 pm: Hooked-up to monitors; baby heart rate and contractions.
Josh thoughts: The L&D room is NICE
Betsy thoughts: I have to lay in this bed the whole time?!?
3:10 pm: Betsy gets blood drawn for blood work and IV lock.
Pam said, "I'm getting busy with you tomorrow!"
4:40 pm: Cervadil is in; didn't hurt at all, have to pee, not allowed to for an hour.
Watching US Open final.
Dr. Meade said, "Now we hurry-up and wait."
Josh sending text updates to family and friends.
I'm having some contractions. I feel my stomach tighten and then minor discomfort. 10+ minutes apart. Not necessarily consistent.
Okay, now on to Part II.
Awesome Nurse Pam and I bonded immediately. I can't even begin to explain how much better that made the entire experience. She kept saying, "I'm getting busy with you tomorrow!" and "We're going to have so much fun tomorrow!"
The US Open final ended-up being on rain delay, which was REALLY annoying. It took us 30 minutes (no exaggeration) to find the correct channel and then it was on delay. NOW WHAT? I am really anxious to get up and move around. I didn't know what position would be "my position" (the position in which I am the most comfortable), but I knew it wouldn't be lying down in bed. By now (6:15 pm per the notebook), my contractions seem to be getting a little closer and more uncomfortable. I'm waiting for Awesome Nurse Pam to come back so I can ask to go to the bathroom. I'm about to pee the bed, which wouldn't be so bad since I'm sitting on two puppy pads (they weren't really puppy pads, but they sure looked like them). I would enjoy laying and sitting on these pads until I left the hospital. At this point, we're starving. In passing, Awesome Nurse Pam says something about bringing me dinner. I am ECSTATIC.
Eventually I got to pee, and it was time for Awesome Nurse Pam to leave. At 7:10 pm, I met Evil Night Nurse Katie. Pam will be back in the morning, and she tells Katie that "she wants me back." My contractions are close and inconsistent. When I say close, I mean CLOSE. They are happening every minute to three minutes. They are more intense than before, but they don't hurt. I am, however, starting to feel them in my back. I predicted this when I was pregnant. My time-of-the-month pain consists of one day of serious back pain, never cramps. So I knew I'd experience back labor. And it sucked.
Evil Night Nurse Pam mentions something about dinner and she wonders if Awesome Nurse Pam ordered me a tray, as the cafeteria is now closed. She leaves to check. She's gone for a long time, and when she returns she doesn't mention anything about food. She looks at the paper output (the one that shows my contractions) and she notices how close they are. This is when I find-out that I won't be able to eat anything. Evil Night Nurse Katie is worried that I'm progressing quicker than expected and doesn't want me to eat anything in case I'm in active labor. Awesome. Husband spends the next couple hours sneaking me Combos.
At 7:50 pm, Evil Night Nurse Katie started me on IV fluids (this is how I found-out she was evil. She ROCKED my arm when she hooked-up the fluids. I said something about being surprised by how much it hurt and she just laughed it off. EVIL! Over the course of my labor, two other nurses hooked me up to fluids and it didn't hurt one bit. EVIL I tell you! A week later it was still bruised). Liam's heart rate dropped, so she "wanted to have access to me" if it dropped again. Plus, if I wanted an epidural eventually they wanted an entire bag of fluids in me. She also moved me to my left side to help with Liam's heart rate.
The next few hours passed in a blur. We watched the US Open. We played on the laptop. Husband went to find dinner. I covertly consumed Combos (what's up alliteration! Totally unplanned). We chit chatted excitedly about not believing this was actually happening. We tried to sleep. Husband probably got 3+ hours, and I slept maybe 1 1/2 hours. My sleep consisted of dosing off in between contractions. I vaguely remember laying in bed contemplating waking-up Husband to help me work through the contractions. After an hour, I finally said, "Husband, I need you." It took him a little bit to shake his sleepiness, but he was by my side being supportive.
At 3:20 am Evil Night Nurse Katie removed to Cervadil. It didn't hurt going in, but it sure hurt coming out. More evilness! She checked my progress, and I was still only 1 cm. When I heard that I felt deflated. My contractions were actually hurting at this point. Nothing terrible, a 3 out of 10, but they definitely feel different than before. I am experiencing a lot of back pain. I will be hooked-up to Pitocin at 4 am, so now is my chance to shower, brush my teeth, and pee. Once the Pitocin is on, Liam and I will have to be monitored constantly.
Showering was interesting. Every minute or two I would stop what I was doing and sway through the contractions. Also, the act of showering was complicated by the fact that the shower head was attached to a hose that didn't have a base on the wall. So Husband stood outside the shower curtain and held-up the shower head. Best Husband Ever.
Back in bed, Evil Night Nurse added Pitocin to my IV drip at 4:50 am. I was terrified of the Pitocin. I had read so many things about it being awful. And awful it was.
Part III coming soon.
2:30 pm: Registered at the adminission office.
2:55 pm: Hooked-up to monitors; baby heart rate and contractions.
Josh thoughts: The L&D room is NICE
Betsy thoughts: I have to lay in this bed the whole time?!?
3:10 pm: Betsy gets blood drawn for blood work and IV lock.
Pam said, "I'm getting busy with you tomorrow!"
4:40 pm: Cervadil is in; didn't hurt at all, have to pee, not allowed to for an hour.
Watching US Open final.
Dr. Meade said, "Now we hurry-up and wait."
Josh sending text updates to family and friends.
I'm having some contractions. I feel my stomach tighten and then minor discomfort. 10+ minutes apart. Not necessarily consistent.
Okay, now on to Part II.
Awesome Nurse Pam and I bonded immediately. I can't even begin to explain how much better that made the entire experience. She kept saying, "I'm getting busy with you tomorrow!" and "We're going to have so much fun tomorrow!"
The US Open final ended-up being on rain delay, which was REALLY annoying. It took us 30 minutes (no exaggeration) to find the correct channel and then it was on delay. NOW WHAT? I am really anxious to get up and move around. I didn't know what position would be "my position" (the position in which I am the most comfortable), but I knew it wouldn't be lying down in bed. By now (6:15 pm per the notebook), my contractions seem to be getting a little closer and more uncomfortable. I'm waiting for Awesome Nurse Pam to come back so I can ask to go to the bathroom. I'm about to pee the bed, which wouldn't be so bad since I'm sitting on two puppy pads (they weren't really puppy pads, but they sure looked like them). I would enjoy laying and sitting on these pads until I left the hospital. At this point, we're starving. In passing, Awesome Nurse Pam says something about bringing me dinner. I am ECSTATIC.
Eventually I got to pee, and it was time for Awesome Nurse Pam to leave. At 7:10 pm, I met Evil Night Nurse Katie. Pam will be back in the morning, and she tells Katie that "she wants me back." My contractions are close and inconsistent. When I say close, I mean CLOSE. They are happening every minute to three minutes. They are more intense than before, but they don't hurt. I am, however, starting to feel them in my back. I predicted this when I was pregnant. My time-of-the-month pain consists of one day of serious back pain, never cramps. So I knew I'd experience back labor. And it sucked.
Evil Night Nurse Pam mentions something about dinner and she wonders if Awesome Nurse Pam ordered me a tray, as the cafeteria is now closed. She leaves to check. She's gone for a long time, and when she returns she doesn't mention anything about food. She looks at the paper output (the one that shows my contractions) and she notices how close they are. This is when I find-out that I won't be able to eat anything. Evil Night Nurse Katie is worried that I'm progressing quicker than expected and doesn't want me to eat anything in case I'm in active labor. Awesome. Husband spends the next couple hours sneaking me Combos.
At 7:50 pm, Evil Night Nurse Katie started me on IV fluids (this is how I found-out she was evil. She ROCKED my arm when she hooked-up the fluids. I said something about being surprised by how much it hurt and she just laughed it off. EVIL! Over the course of my labor, two other nurses hooked me up to fluids and it didn't hurt one bit. EVIL I tell you! A week later it was still bruised). Liam's heart rate dropped, so she "wanted to have access to me" if it dropped again. Plus, if I wanted an epidural eventually they wanted an entire bag of fluids in me. She also moved me to my left side to help with Liam's heart rate.
The next few hours passed in a blur. We watched the US Open. We played on the laptop. Husband went to find dinner. I covertly consumed Combos (what's up alliteration! Totally unplanned). We chit chatted excitedly about not believing this was actually happening. We tried to sleep. Husband probably got 3+ hours, and I slept maybe 1 1/2 hours. My sleep consisted of dosing off in between contractions. I vaguely remember laying in bed contemplating waking-up Husband to help me work through the contractions. After an hour, I finally said, "Husband, I need you." It took him a little bit to shake his sleepiness, but he was by my side being supportive.
At 3:20 am Evil Night Nurse Katie removed to Cervadil. It didn't hurt going in, but it sure hurt coming out. More evilness! She checked my progress, and I was still only 1 cm. When I heard that I felt deflated. My contractions were actually hurting at this point. Nothing terrible, a 3 out of 10, but they definitely feel different than before. I am experiencing a lot of back pain. I will be hooked-up to Pitocin at 4 am, so now is my chance to shower, brush my teeth, and pee. Once the Pitocin is on, Liam and I will have to be monitored constantly.
Showering was interesting. Every minute or two I would stop what I was doing and sway through the contractions. Also, the act of showering was complicated by the fact that the shower head was attached to a hose that didn't have a base on the wall. So Husband stood outside the shower curtain and held-up the shower head. Best Husband Ever.
Back in bed, Evil Night Nurse added Pitocin to my IV drip at 4:50 am. I was terrified of the Pitocin. I had read so many things about it being awful. And awful it was.
Part III coming soon.
Birth Story: Part I
I had a doctors appointment on the 3rd (a Friday). Based on that appointment, my doctor was convinced that I wouldn't make it to my due date. Little man was REALLY low in my pelvis and I was dilated and effaced. Husband and I spent that week waiting and wondering. I spent the week working and wishing that I wasn’t. I also spend the week analyzing EVERY SINGLE thing going-on with my body. Well, we learned early that Liam is stubborn like his mommy because he didn’t come that next week. At our appointment on the 13th, our doctor told us that he waited all week for a phone call (he was on a staycation) from us. He was convinced that it would happen Thursday night during the Vikings game when he was loaded. It didn’t.
At our appointment on the 13th (a Monday), we learned that I was still only 1 cm, very effaced, and little guy was even lower in my pelvis. Doctor still couldn’t believe that I hadn’t gone into labor. He laid-out our options: (1) He would strip my membranes right then and there and send us home to wait it out. He said, “But I don’t really like to strip membranes because it’s kind of like torture.” Um, WHAT?! Apparently it’s really painful. I replied with, “PASS.” (2) Do nothing right then and there and come back on Thursday. Husband and I were ready to get this party started, so I asked if we HAD to wait until Thursday. I’m so glad I asked because he said we could go to the hospital after the appointment for me to be induced. OPTION THREE, please! Doctor called the hospital and talked to the doctor on-call (Dr. Meade). He said, and this is a direct quote, “I’m sending over a patient to be induced. Can you drop some Cervadil in her?” So casual. Just drop it in! Husband and I died laughing. So the plan was to get checked-in, drop-in Cervadil around 4 pm, removed Cervadil 12 hours later, start Pitocin. SUPER excited, we headed to the hospital.
When we got to the hospital, we went to the L&D area of the women’s pavilion. Which was wrong. We needed to register first, which was on the other side of the hospital. I can’t imagine doing through this process while already in labor. It didn’t take terribly long, but it would have felt like an eternity if I was managing contractions. Benefit number one to being induced. Once registered, we walked back over to L&D to get checked-in.
This is when we met Awesome Nurse Pam. When I say awesome, I mean AWESOME. Pam was amazing. She sent me to the bathroom to put-on what would be my uniform for the next four days. She followed me in the bathroom to ask me some personal questions, one of which was if my husband beat me. I swear I’m not making this up. I literally laughed at her, and said no. After the questions, she explained that if I had to pee I needed to do it into the plastic bin in the toilet. Fun. Then Awesome Nurse Pam left the room (with the cookies I baked for the nurses), and we got ourselves situated.
Awesome Nurse Pam came back, and I signed some papers. She got me hooked-up to the monitors, took my blood pressure (for the first of 800 times), and put-in the IV lock. I warned her ahead of time that I tend to pee A LOT, so she showed me how to disconnect the two monitors, throw the cords over my shoulder, and go to the bathroom. And then she left again.
The monitor above shows the contractions and fetal heartrate for each woman hooked-up the monitors. This was the cheapest entertainment. I stared at the screen for hours. It was so much fun to see the women in the different stages of labor. It was obvious when women were just starting the process, when they were in transition, and when they were pushing. It was great.
Eventually, Dr. Meade came to “drop-in” the Cervadil, which is like a tampon for your cervix. There’s a huge string (picture a shoe string) and everything that dangles to your mid-thigh. Totally weird. The goal of Cervadil is to soften the cervix and get it to start dilating. Putting it in didn’t hurt at all, and I couldn’t feel it once it was in (other than the string). Dr. Meade left, and we settled in for a 12 hour wait. The US Open final was on, so I watched that on and off for the next few hours. Awesome Nurse Pam came in every 10 or 15 minutes to check-on me.
After a couple hours, things started to pick-up a bit…
At our appointment on the 13th (a Monday), we learned that I was still only 1 cm, very effaced, and little guy was even lower in my pelvis. Doctor still couldn’t believe that I hadn’t gone into labor. He laid-out our options: (1) He would strip my membranes right then and there and send us home to wait it out. He said, “But I don’t really like to strip membranes because it’s kind of like torture.” Um, WHAT?! Apparently it’s really painful. I replied with, “PASS.” (2) Do nothing right then and there and come back on Thursday. Husband and I were ready to get this party started, so I asked if we HAD to wait until Thursday. I’m so glad I asked because he said we could go to the hospital after the appointment for me to be induced. OPTION THREE, please! Doctor called the hospital and talked to the doctor on-call (Dr. Meade). He said, and this is a direct quote, “I’m sending over a patient to be induced. Can you drop some Cervadil in her?” So casual. Just drop it in! Husband and I died laughing. So the plan was to get checked-in, drop-in Cervadil around 4 pm, removed Cervadil 12 hours later, start Pitocin. SUPER excited, we headed to the hospital.
When we got to the hospital, we went to the L&D area of the women’s pavilion. Which was wrong. We needed to register first, which was on the other side of the hospital. I can’t imagine doing through this process while already in labor. It didn’t take terribly long, but it would have felt like an eternity if I was managing contractions. Benefit number one to being induced. Once registered, we walked back over to L&D to get checked-in.
This is when we met Awesome Nurse Pam. When I say awesome, I mean AWESOME. Pam was amazing. She sent me to the bathroom to put-on what would be my uniform for the next four days. She followed me in the bathroom to ask me some personal questions, one of which was if my husband beat me. I swear I’m not making this up. I literally laughed at her, and said no. After the questions, she explained that if I had to pee I needed to do it into the plastic bin in the toilet. Fun. Then Awesome Nurse Pam left the room (with the cookies I baked for the nurses), and we got ourselves situated.
Awesome Nurse Pam came back, and I signed some papers. She got me hooked-up to the monitors, took my blood pressure (for the first of 800 times), and put-in the IV lock. I warned her ahead of time that I tend to pee A LOT, so she showed me how to disconnect the two monitors, throw the cords over my shoulder, and go to the bathroom. And then she left again.
The monitor above shows the contractions and fetal heartrate for each woman hooked-up the monitors. This was the cheapest entertainment. I stared at the screen for hours. It was so much fun to see the women in the different stages of labor. It was obvious when women were just starting the process, when they were in transition, and when they were pushing. It was great.
Eventually, Dr. Meade came to “drop-in” the Cervadil, which is like a tampon for your cervix. There’s a huge string (picture a shoe string) and everything that dangles to your mid-thigh. Totally weird. The goal of Cervadil is to soften the cervix and get it to start dilating. Putting it in didn’t hurt at all, and I couldn’t feel it once it was in (other than the string). Dr. Meade left, and we settled in for a 12 hour wait. The US Open final was on, so I watched that on and off for the next few hours. Awesome Nurse Pam came in every 10 or 15 minutes to check-on me.
After a couple hours, things started to pick-up a bit…
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