Warning: Boys, you may want to steer clear of this one. I'm just sayin'.
For me, recovery was far worse than labor and delivery. When I was in labor, I found sanity and relief in the fact that it would END and it would end soon. With recovery, there's no telling when I'll be back to normal. And who's to say that I'll ever feel normal again. Maybe I'll have to redefine my normal.
The fluids, oh the fluids. I spent the first week and a half wearing the mesh panties that hospital gave me (they were so comfortable. I wish it was appropriate to wear them all of the time) and a GIANT maxi-pad. Every time I would nurse, my uterus would contract and cramp, and I would bleed. That's just how it goes. Over the weeks, I slowly stepped down the size of the pad. I'm a tampon girl, so wearing a pad was awful (although the thought of a tampon right now makes me shudder). I was also given a steroid foam to help with general healing of my lady bits. For me, putting a pad soaked in witch hazel on the maxi-pad was really soothing. My bleeding really slowed by four weeks, and it ended by the end of five weeks. I was SO glad to see the pads go. G-R-O-S-S.
Luckily, I didn't tear. I am so thankful for that. I didn't tear because my doctor massaged my perineum for an hour. And by massaged, I mean he stretched it. At one point he told me that I would be screaming from what he was doing if I didn't have the epidural. I remember him trying to make room for Liam's head by putting both of his hands ALL THE WAY in my lady bits. Ouch. All of that stretching left me bruised and battered. For the first two weeks of Liam's life, I went from the bed to the glider to nurse and back to the bed. Thankfully Liam only ate and slept at that point, but I missed-out on really enjoying the first two to three weeks at home with my son. But I'm not exaggerating when I say I couldn't sit down. When I could finally sit (on the couch and at the kitchen table), I couldn't sit without a pillow. Even in the glider (which has a cushion) I used a pillow. It took me four weeks to get rid of the pillow. After that, I avoided hard surfaces as much as possible or I would sit more on one side of my butt. Today, I am sore at the end of the day. It's manageable, and more annoying than anything. At my appointment two weeks ago, my doctor said it can take up to 12 weeks to really start feeling good, and I totally believe him.
Along with my perineum, my right labia fell victim to delivery. We're not entirely sure how it happened because everything happened so fast, but we think it got caught-up in the vacuum. Sitting forward HURT. The labia went beyond uncomfortable and into painful. It would also bleed. The only comfortable position for me to sleep was on my side (laying on my back hurt my butt until about week five and laying on my baby feeding boobies still isn't an option), but I HAD to have a pillow between my legs. The pressure on my labia without the pillow was terrible. I didn't know this until my doctors appointment at five weeks postpartum, but nursing is an estrogen suppressant. And estrogen is what heals the wreckage that is your lady bits. So if you nurse, you heal slower. My doctor barely moved my labia, and I was squirming and saying, "Ouch, ow, ow ow." He sent me home with an estrogen cream to apply at night. I've been doing it for two weeks now, and it has made a HUGE difference. I actually feel like my labia is healing. I am so thankful for that, because I was worried that I would be something that I'd have to deal with for a long time.
Other than the lady bits issues, I was exhausted for the first two weeks. Not sleepy tired, but just physically exhausted. But I suppose that's to be expected with a new baby at home :)
For me, recovery sucked. I loved being pregnant, and I love being a mom. I even love having a newborn around who wakes-up every two to three hours. For those reasons, I definitely want more children. But to be honest, recovering again terrifies me. In the end, it's completely worth it. And maybe next time the birth won't be so traumatic and recovery won't be so hard. It's definitely not enough to keep me away from having a second... eventually.
Showing posts with label Labor and delivery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Labor and delivery. Show all posts
Birth Story: Part V
This post should probably come with a warning: It's TMI.
First, let me say this: Pushing sucked. SUCKED for me. I had read and been told that pushing brought some relief to the pain and pressure. LIES. At least it didn't for me. When I finally got to 10 cm, I was feeling a lot of pressure in my butt. The pressure doesn't come in your lady bits, it literally comes in your "bottom," as the PC nurses and doctors say. The pressure isn't painful, but it sure is annoying and uncomfortable.
Second: Epidurals are great because they take away the pain. That is until your Nurse and Doctor decide to TURN IT DOWN. Yeah, they don't tell you that in the birth classes. Many doctors like to turn down or turn OFF the epidural to create more urgency for the mother to push. NOT COOL. At one point, DES looked at me and literally said, "Since it's you, I'm being nice and I haven't turned it off yet." So not cool. With the epidural almost turned off, things started to hurt, even the pressure.
By the time I started to push, I was exhausted. I hadn't eaten anything since the afternoon before. I don't know about you, but I'm that person that gets light-headed and weak after four or five hours without food. So I was hurting for some sugar/calories. I pushed in an inclined position on my back. When I started to feel the pressure/pain of each contraction, DES wanted me to lift my head and shoulders off the bed, put my chin to my chest, pull my legs back with my hands, and push. Husband was holding the right leg and Awesome Nurse Pam was on the left. I pushed three times for 10 seconds during contraction, taking one deep breath in between each push. With my second, I will refuse to pull-back on my legs on my own. I was pulling back so hard that my arms would start to shake. I feel like all of my energy and concentration was wasted on the wrong action. Next time, I'll use the Nurse and Husband ONLY to bear-down against.
For whatever reason, I couldn't focus on pushing in the correct area. In short, I wasn't a very good pusher. I was a quiet, focused laborer, but a terrible pusher. Well, maybe terrible is a strong word. I wasn't very skilled. I only had a handful of pushes that were REALLY concentrated in the right area. Also in hindsight, I don't know if pushing on my back was the best position for me. Maybe laying on my side or squatting would have been better. With the epidural, however, I was limited to my back.
Pushing was also hard because Liam was big. He weighed over 8 pounds, and he had a big head (at 37 weeks, his head was measuring 42 weeks. YEAH. Feel sorry for me). And I'm not the biggest/widest person in the world. DES kept saying that I only needed to get him 1 cm further to get him past my pelvic bone and then he'd be free! I just couldn't do it. At one point, ANP told me to reach down and feel his head. She kept saying, "It's right there, it's right there. Come on Betsy!" I had zero interest. She wanted me to be motivated by the fact that he was so close. After I continued to refuse, Liam continued to be stuck, and Liam's heart rate continued to drop with each contraction, she finally grabbed my hand and put it on his head. It felt wet and mushy. Feeling his head didn't do anything for my motivation. I was exhausted, I was in pain, and I wanted him OUT.
And then he his my perineum. HOLY CRAP. It hurt. It hurt so badly. I can't even explain the pain. This is when I started screaming. Literally. I'd been SO quiet and focused through the entire experience, until the last five minutes of pushing. I remember DES tell ANP to get the vacuum. I'm pushing and screaming and making all sorts of animal noises. I kept repeating, "GET HIM OUT. GET HIM OUT NOW." I was done. I was exhausted, frustrated, in pain, and now I was scared. Things were getting serious, fast. DES told me that during the next contraction he wanted me to take the oxygen mask off and push until he told me to stop. He was going to use the vacuum to get Liam out. I wasn't getting the job done, and his heart rate was getting really low. At this point, I shut my eyes, and I shut them TIGHT. I knew I didn't want to see what was about to happen. It would scare/traumatize me. I didn't see any of it, but I sure felt it.
It all happened so fast. The contraction came, and I bared-down. I felt DES get the vacuum in place, and I felt him pull. The feeling of Liam coming out is hard to explain. I swear I felt gushing fluid, but I'm not sure because my eyes were closed. It hurt. It hurts bunches. It felt like it took forever for him to get out. And all the while I'm screaming (I swear it was like something from a movie. I just couldn't control it. I wouldn't be a very good Scientologist). When he was out, I opened my eyes. DES was holding him upside down and suctioning his mouth and nose. Husband got really emotional, but I was really out of it. My brain and heart couldn't connect with what had just happened (read: my son was just born!). Liam wasn't crying, and he looked purple. I kept saying, "He needs to cry. He's not crying. He just needs to cry." The nurses (more nurses came to investigate when they heard my screaming. I wish I was joking, but I'm being totally serious) whisked him away to the warming station to work their magic, and he finally cried after what felt like an eternity. Really it was just 10 to 15 seconds. It took me a while to bond with Liam and the fact that I'd just given birth because I didn't get to hold him right away. I had dreamt of Liam being born and put on my chest immediately. Of Husband cutting the cord. Of him taking his first big breath right there in front of me. But it didn't matter in the end because he was healthy.
I remember asking DES why it still hurt. Oh yeah, the placenta. It didn't take long for me to deliver the placenta, Liam had cleared a path for it. Husband said it was the funniest thing seeing DES holding/tugging on the cord that was hanging out of my lady bits.
After the placenta was out, it STILL hurt. Why!?!?! Oh yeah, I'd just given birth. I guess I expected all of the pain to just go away. Also, the vacuum snagged my right labia and tore it. Yeah, chew on that one, Ladies. It wasn't something that could really be stitched-up either. Thankfully I didn't tear, and I have DES to thank for that. He spent the entire hour+ of pushing stretching my perineum. Husband said at one point he looked down and saw both of DES's hands in my lady bits and he was PULLING down. I was sore for WEEKS from the stretching (I'll detail my recovery in another post), but I am so thankful that I didn't tear.
Eventually, I got to hold Liam and my entire world changed in a millisecond. I will never forget how he looked up at me and just stared when he heard my voice. I was a mom, and I was my son. It doesn't get much better than that.
First, let me say this: Pushing sucked. SUCKED for me. I had read and been told that pushing brought some relief to the pain and pressure. LIES. At least it didn't for me. When I finally got to 10 cm, I was feeling a lot of pressure in my butt. The pressure doesn't come in your lady bits, it literally comes in your "bottom," as the PC nurses and doctors say. The pressure isn't painful, but it sure is annoying and uncomfortable.
Second: Epidurals are great because they take away the pain. That is until your Nurse and Doctor decide to TURN IT DOWN. Yeah, they don't tell you that in the birth classes. Many doctors like to turn down or turn OFF the epidural to create more urgency for the mother to push. NOT COOL. At one point, DES looked at me and literally said, "Since it's you, I'm being nice and I haven't turned it off yet." So not cool. With the epidural almost turned off, things started to hurt, even the pressure.
By the time I started to push, I was exhausted. I hadn't eaten anything since the afternoon before. I don't know about you, but I'm that person that gets light-headed and weak after four or five hours without food. So I was hurting for some sugar/calories. I pushed in an inclined position on my back. When I started to feel the pressure/pain of each contraction, DES wanted me to lift my head and shoulders off the bed, put my chin to my chest, pull my legs back with my hands, and push. Husband was holding the right leg and Awesome Nurse Pam was on the left. I pushed three times for 10 seconds during contraction, taking one deep breath in between each push. With my second, I will refuse to pull-back on my legs on my own. I was pulling back so hard that my arms would start to shake. I feel like all of my energy and concentration was wasted on the wrong action. Next time, I'll use the Nurse and Husband ONLY to bear-down against.
For whatever reason, I couldn't focus on pushing in the correct area. In short, I wasn't a very good pusher. I was a quiet, focused laborer, but a terrible pusher. Well, maybe terrible is a strong word. I wasn't very skilled. I only had a handful of pushes that were REALLY concentrated in the right area. Also in hindsight, I don't know if pushing on my back was the best position for me. Maybe laying on my side or squatting would have been better. With the epidural, however, I was limited to my back.
Pushing was also hard because Liam was big. He weighed over 8 pounds, and he had a big head (at 37 weeks, his head was measuring 42 weeks. YEAH. Feel sorry for me). And I'm not the biggest/widest person in the world. DES kept saying that I only needed to get him 1 cm further to get him past my pelvic bone and then he'd be free! I just couldn't do it. At one point, ANP told me to reach down and feel his head. She kept saying, "It's right there, it's right there. Come on Betsy!" I had zero interest. She wanted me to be motivated by the fact that he was so close. After I continued to refuse, Liam continued to be stuck, and Liam's heart rate continued to drop with each contraction, she finally grabbed my hand and put it on his head. It felt wet and mushy. Feeling his head didn't do anything for my motivation. I was exhausted, I was in pain, and I wanted him OUT.
And then he his my perineum. HOLY CRAP. It hurt. It hurt so badly. I can't even explain the pain. This is when I started screaming. Literally. I'd been SO quiet and focused through the entire experience, until the last five minutes of pushing. I remember DES tell ANP to get the vacuum. I'm pushing and screaming and making all sorts of animal noises. I kept repeating, "GET HIM OUT. GET HIM OUT NOW." I was done. I was exhausted, frustrated, in pain, and now I was scared. Things were getting serious, fast. DES told me that during the next contraction he wanted me to take the oxygen mask off and push until he told me to stop. He was going to use the vacuum to get Liam out. I wasn't getting the job done, and his heart rate was getting really low. At this point, I shut my eyes, and I shut them TIGHT. I knew I didn't want to see what was about to happen. It would scare/traumatize me. I didn't see any of it, but I sure felt it.
It all happened so fast. The contraction came, and I bared-down. I felt DES get the vacuum in place, and I felt him pull. The feeling of Liam coming out is hard to explain. I swear I felt gushing fluid, but I'm not sure because my eyes were closed. It hurt. It hurts bunches. It felt like it took forever for him to get out. And all the while I'm screaming (I swear it was like something from a movie. I just couldn't control it. I wouldn't be a very good Scientologist). When he was out, I opened my eyes. DES was holding him upside down and suctioning his mouth and nose. Husband got really emotional, but I was really out of it. My brain and heart couldn't connect with what had just happened (read: my son was just born!). Liam wasn't crying, and he looked purple. I kept saying, "He needs to cry. He's not crying. He just needs to cry." The nurses (more nurses came to investigate when they heard my screaming. I wish I was joking, but I'm being totally serious) whisked him away to the warming station to work their magic, and he finally cried after what felt like an eternity. Really it was just 10 to 15 seconds. It took me a while to bond with Liam and the fact that I'd just given birth because I didn't get to hold him right away. I had dreamt of Liam being born and put on my chest immediately. Of Husband cutting the cord. Of him taking his first big breath right there in front of me. But it didn't matter in the end because he was healthy.
After the placenta was out, it STILL hurt. Why!?!?! Oh yeah, I'd just given birth. I guess I expected all of the pain to just go away. Also, the vacuum snagged my right labia and tore it. Yeah, chew on that one, Ladies. It wasn't something that could really be stitched-up either. Thankfully I didn't tear, and I have DES to thank for that. He spent the entire hour+ of pushing stretching my perineum. Husband said at one point he looked down and saw both of DES's hands in my lady bits and he was PULLING down. I was sore for WEEKS from the stretching (I'll detail my recovery in another post), but I am so thankful that I didn't tear.
Eventually, I got to hold Liam and my entire world changed in a millisecond. I will never forget how he looked up at me and just stared when he heard my voice. I was a mom, and I was my son. It doesn't get much better than that.
Birth Story: Part IV
When Awesome Nurse Pam arrived for the day shift, so did Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban. I've expressed my love for my doctor before, but I love him even more after L&D Day. At 7 am he walked in with a venti coffee and a smile that could make any girl weak in the knees. He gave me a big hug and told me to hurry up because he's been looking forward to this for a week.
First thing Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban did was check my progress. 5 cm. Woop, half way there! He chit chatted for a few minutes, and then scurried away (to watch my monitor from the nurses station as I would later find out). All the while, Awesome Nurse Pam is coming in and out, checking on me, the monitors, my fluids, my pain level, etc. On a side note: IV fluids suck. As if I wasn't swollen enough from pregnancy, add three or four bags of IV fluid to the mix. I was a WHALE. It took over a week for me to see my ankles again.
Shortly after Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban leaves, Awesome Nurse Pam comes in to discuss an epidural. She asks if I'm ready for it (I'm 6 cm at this point), and I decline. The pain is manageable, and I'm not ready to be confined to the bed. I suggest that she come back in an hour and ask again. Hopefully I would by 7 cm and, and ready for the epi. At this point she informs me that the anesthesiologist is about to go into surgery so it's now or never. By the time he would get out of surgery, I would probably be in transition and it would be too late.
It was a no-brainer to accept the epidural at that point. The thought of transition and pushing without an epidural terrified me. So enter Caterpillar Eyebrows Anesthesiologist (I don't know his real name). When I was pregnant, I thought I would be nervous about the pain involved with an epidural. When you're experiencing contractions every 30 to 90 seconds, the last thing you care about is the pain of getting an epidural. You welcome it to ease the other pain. I sat indian-style in the middle of the bed and leaned against Husband. I couldn't get my back into the correct position, so Caterpillar Eyebrows Anesthesiologist had to try THREE times. That's six needle sticks - three local and three epi tries. To be honest, I don't even remember the pain involved, so it must not have been too bad. Just some burning. Blood makes Husband queasy, so when he saw blood on the anesthesiologist's gloves, it was either sit down or hurl. I remember him starting to lean oddly, and I said something to Awesome Nurse Pam about Husband needing to sit down. So I spent the third and final epi try leaning against ANP.
With the epidural in, Awesome Nurse Pam got me re-situated in bed. Within 15 minutes, I couldn't feel or move anything below my chest. You get a heavy dose in the beginning, but thankfully that wears off. After an hour or so, I could move my legs on my own. Before that, if my legs slid off the pillow ANP had wedged between my legs, I had to ask Husband to move it back. And let me tell you - a limp leg is WAY heavier than you'd think. Personally, I hated the epidural sensation (more on that in a different post). However, I was pain free so that was nice.
At 9:15 am, Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban broke my water. Since I was epiduraled, I didn't feel anything associated with my water being broken. Not even a gush or wetness on the puppy pads I was laying on. I am hoping that with the second one I get to experience my water breaking on its own. Or at least get to feel it when the Doc does it.
Between my water breaking and pushing (heck, even pushing is a little blurry) everything is a blur. Roughly three hours passed in what seemed like seconds. At 10:00 am, I was 8 cm, but could be stretched to 9 cm. At 10:40 am, I was 9 cm. And then I got stuck at 9 cm for over an hour. Twice Awesome Nurse Pam tried to push the remaining lip of my cervix back. If I hadn't been numb, I bet that would have HURT. She was successful the second time. At 8 cm, I started to feel pressure in my pelvis. At first I thought I was feeling pain, so I clicked the epidural button a few times for an extra dose. Within 15 minutes, I was SUPER numb again and really annoyed with myself. Once I realized I was feeling pressure, I made Husband take the button away from me because I WANTED to feel the pressure. I knew the pressure would make me want to push more and harder when the time came. The pressure didn't hurt, but it was definitely uncomfortable. It also didn't make me feel an urgency to push like I had hoped it would.
What I DO remember over the three hours is Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban coming in and out of my room checking on my progress. He wanted to check my cervix every 30 minutes, ANP kept quipping at him to be patient. Him and Awesome Nurse Pam (who had obviously worked together a lot before) kept bickering back and forth. It was seriously entertaining. Every time Liam's heart rate dropped, ANP keep saying he was "trying to show off for us again." I think that was her way of trying to not alarm me. But it was pretty obvious from the unspoken words exchanged between ANP and DES that the situation could turn bad quickly.
Also, my mom came to the hospital to hang out in the room around 10 am. I talked to her on the phone, and I was obvious that she wanted so badly to be there. She didn't want to impose, but I could tell that she NEEDED to be with her daughter. And to be honest, it was so nice having her there. We chit chatted on and off, she talked with DES (he's a family friend), and knitted nervously. Husband and I actually invited her to stay for pushing, but she respectfully declined. She said that Liam's actual birth needed to be a moment between just Husband and me. In hindsight, that was an incredibly unselfish move. I KNOW she would have loved to experience that with us, but she knew how important that moment would be.
When it was time to push, it was clear that DES wanted Liam out NOW. I didn't realize until my head was clear just how close he was to being a c-section baby. At 11:58 pm, the bed was set-up to start pushing and ANP started prepped the room for Liam's arrival.
First thing Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban did was check my progress. 5 cm. Woop, half way there! He chit chatted for a few minutes, and then scurried away (to watch my monitor from the nurses station as I would later find out). All the while, Awesome Nurse Pam is coming in and out, checking on me, the monitors, my fluids, my pain level, etc. On a side note: IV fluids suck. As if I wasn't swollen enough from pregnancy, add three or four bags of IV fluid to the mix. I was a WHALE. It took over a week for me to see my ankles again.
Shortly after Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban leaves, Awesome Nurse Pam comes in to discuss an epidural. She asks if I'm ready for it (I'm 6 cm at this point), and I decline. The pain is manageable, and I'm not ready to be confined to the bed. I suggest that she come back in an hour and ask again. Hopefully I would by 7 cm and, and ready for the epi. At this point she informs me that the anesthesiologist is about to go into surgery so it's now or never. By the time he would get out of surgery, I would probably be in transition and it would be too late.
It was a no-brainer to accept the epidural at that point. The thought of transition and pushing without an epidural terrified me. So enter Caterpillar Eyebrows Anesthesiologist (I don't know his real name). When I was pregnant, I thought I would be nervous about the pain involved with an epidural. When you're experiencing contractions every 30 to 90 seconds, the last thing you care about is the pain of getting an epidural. You welcome it to ease the other pain. I sat indian-style in the middle of the bed and leaned against Husband. I couldn't get my back into the correct position, so Caterpillar Eyebrows Anesthesiologist had to try THREE times. That's six needle sticks - three local and three epi tries. To be honest, I don't even remember the pain involved, so it must not have been too bad. Just some burning. Blood makes Husband queasy, so when he saw blood on the anesthesiologist's gloves, it was either sit down or hurl. I remember him starting to lean oddly, and I said something to Awesome Nurse Pam about Husband needing to sit down. So I spent the third and final epi try leaning against ANP.
With the epidural in, Awesome Nurse Pam got me re-situated in bed. Within 15 minutes, I couldn't feel or move anything below my chest. You get a heavy dose in the beginning, but thankfully that wears off. After an hour or so, I could move my legs on my own. Before that, if my legs slid off the pillow ANP had wedged between my legs, I had to ask Husband to move it back. And let me tell you - a limp leg is WAY heavier than you'd think. Personally, I hated the epidural sensation (more on that in a different post). However, I was pain free so that was nice.
At 9:15 am, Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban broke my water. Since I was epiduraled, I didn't feel anything associated with my water being broken. Not even a gush or wetness on the puppy pads I was laying on. I am hoping that with the second one I get to experience my water breaking on its own. Or at least get to feel it when the Doc does it.
Between my water breaking and pushing (heck, even pushing is a little blurry) everything is a blur. Roughly three hours passed in what seemed like seconds. At 10:00 am, I was 8 cm, but could be stretched to 9 cm. At 10:40 am, I was 9 cm. And then I got stuck at 9 cm for over an hour. Twice Awesome Nurse Pam tried to push the remaining lip of my cervix back. If I hadn't been numb, I bet that would have HURT. She was successful the second time. At 8 cm, I started to feel pressure in my pelvis. At first I thought I was feeling pain, so I clicked the epidural button a few times for an extra dose. Within 15 minutes, I was SUPER numb again and really annoyed with myself. Once I realized I was feeling pressure, I made Husband take the button away from me because I WANTED to feel the pressure. I knew the pressure would make me want to push more and harder when the time came. The pressure didn't hurt, but it was definitely uncomfortable. It also didn't make me feel an urgency to push like I had hoped it would.
What I DO remember over the three hours is Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban coming in and out of my room checking on my progress. He wanted to check my cervix every 30 minutes, ANP kept quipping at him to be patient. Him and Awesome Nurse Pam (who had obviously worked together a lot before) kept bickering back and forth. It was seriously entertaining. Every time Liam's heart rate dropped, ANP keep saying he was "trying to show off for us again." I think that was her way of trying to not alarm me. But it was pretty obvious from the unspoken words exchanged between ANP and DES that the situation could turn bad quickly.
Also, my mom came to the hospital to hang out in the room around 10 am. I talked to her on the phone, and I was obvious that she wanted so badly to be there. She didn't want to impose, but I could tell that she NEEDED to be with her daughter. And to be honest, it was so nice having her there. We chit chatted on and off, she talked with DES (he's a family friend), and knitted nervously. Husband and I actually invited her to stay for pushing, but she respectfully declined. She said that Liam's actual birth needed to be a moment between just Husband and me. In hindsight, that was an incredibly unselfish move. I KNOW she would have loved to experience that with us, but she knew how important that moment would be.
When it was time to push, it was clear that DES wanted Liam out NOW. I didn't realize until my head was clear just how close he was to being a c-section baby. At 11:58 pm, the bed was set-up to start pushing and ANP started prepped the room for Liam's arrival.
P.S. Sorry about the five parts. There's just too many details, and Part IV would have been way too long.
Birth Story: Part III
Once I was hooked-up to the Pictocin, my contractions really started to pick-up. By pick-up, we're talking every 30 to 90 seconds. Thankfully, they didn't last more than 30 to 45 seconds. Because they were short, they were manageable. When the Pitocin was started, I was in the hospital bed. And there I had to remain until Evil Night Nurse Katie was satisfied that I wouldn't react badly. Every once and a while, Liam's heart rate would still drop. I could tell this was really making Evil Night Nurse Katie nervous. Her poker face sucked.
Laboring in the bed was horrible. There was no way to get comfortable, and I felt completely confined. Evil Night Nurse Katie had me laying on my side to help with Liam's heart rate. My left side completely fell asleep. I asked to switch to my right. And then that side completely fell asleep. She also had me wearing the oxygen mask. I wore this mask for the rest of my labor, only taking it off a few times. The mask made breathing through contractions more complicated. And it smelled like plastic, which was awesome since my nose was buried in it. With each contraction, I would grip handles on the side of the bed and concentrate on breathing and relaxing the rest of my body. During my third trimester, I created a "labor and delivery" mix on my iPod. Thank goodness for that music. Everything online said to make a mix of calm, soothing music, but I knew better. I needed happy music. So I made a mix of John Mayer, Florence and the Machine, all three Twilight sound tracks, The Postal Service, Sara Barellias, Colbie Calait, and the like. Best decision ever. There were multiple times that I was singing in-between contractions.
At 6:22 am, I was allowed to move to the birthing ball. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Before I sat on it, Evil Night Nurse Katie put a puppy pad under it and draped puppy pads over it. I don't know if you knew this, but you leak a lot during (and after) labor. Each internal exam produces bloody gloves. And don't even get my started on the fluids.
When I got on the birthing ball, the Pitocin was also turned down. My contractions were on-top of each other, and it was obvious that my body was taking over. Josh's notes in the notebook say, "Contractions are more frequent and more painful." True, but the birthing ball made them SO much easier to manage. It was positioned right next to the bed. Close enough for me to rest my arms and head on the bed. In between contractions, I was upright and rocking back and forth. During contractions I either put my head down on the bed and rocked or rolled my head back and rocked. All the while, Josh was standing behind me so I could lean back if needed. I didn't want my shoulders or feet massaged during each contraction. I only wanted my head rubbed/scratched. It really helped to relax me.
In our birth class, the teacher told us about how contractions come on like a wave, peak, and then fade to nothing. It's SO true. They really did come on like a wave, starting small and growing. And when it was done, it was done. No pain. Nothing. Maybe some pressure if you were farther along in labor and the baby was dropped. The worst part about the contractions was that they were ON TOP of each other. The pain was manageable. But the frequency was wearing on me.
Since me and Liam needed to be monitored at all times, I couldn't leave the bed to use the bathroom. Josh's note in the notebook says, "6:40 am: First attempt at the bed pan: FAIL." There was never a second attempt. Major stage fright. Peeing in a bed pan in front of my husband and a nurse - no dice. Eventually, a catheter was used to drain my urine. And then a Foley bag a while later when my doctor realized that I produce A LOT of urine.
At 7:00 am there was a nurse change and Awesome Nurse Pam came back, as promised. Man was I glad to see her smiling face. She changed our "plan for today" on the white board to "Welcome Liam!" That's when it hit me that this was really happening.
Laboring in the bed was horrible. There was no way to get comfortable, and I felt completely confined. Evil Night Nurse Katie had me laying on my side to help with Liam's heart rate. My left side completely fell asleep. I asked to switch to my right. And then that side completely fell asleep. She also had me wearing the oxygen mask. I wore this mask for the rest of my labor, only taking it off a few times. The mask made breathing through contractions more complicated. And it smelled like plastic, which was awesome since my nose was buried in it. With each contraction, I would grip handles on the side of the bed and concentrate on breathing and relaxing the rest of my body. During my third trimester, I created a "labor and delivery" mix on my iPod. Thank goodness for that music. Everything online said to make a mix of calm, soothing music, but I knew better. I needed happy music. So I made a mix of John Mayer, Florence and the Machine, all three Twilight sound tracks, The Postal Service, Sara Barellias, Colbie Calait, and the like. Best decision ever. There were multiple times that I was singing in-between contractions.
At 6:22 am, I was allowed to move to the birthing ball. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Before I sat on it, Evil Night Nurse Katie put a puppy pad under it and draped puppy pads over it. I don't know if you knew this, but you leak a lot during (and after) labor. Each internal exam produces bloody gloves. And don't even get my started on the fluids.
When I got on the birthing ball, the Pitocin was also turned down. My contractions were on-top of each other, and it was obvious that my body was taking over. Josh's notes in the notebook say, "Contractions are more frequent and more painful." True, but the birthing ball made them SO much easier to manage. It was positioned right next to the bed. Close enough for me to rest my arms and head on the bed. In between contractions, I was upright and rocking back and forth. During contractions I either put my head down on the bed and rocked or rolled my head back and rocked. All the while, Josh was standing behind me so I could lean back if needed. I didn't want my shoulders or feet massaged during each contraction. I only wanted my head rubbed/scratched. It really helped to relax me.
In our birth class, the teacher told us about how contractions come on like a wave, peak, and then fade to nothing. It's SO true. They really did come on like a wave, starting small and growing. And when it was done, it was done. No pain. Nothing. Maybe some pressure if you were farther along in labor and the baby was dropped. The worst part about the contractions was that they were ON TOP of each other. The pain was manageable. But the frequency was wearing on me.
Since me and Liam needed to be monitored at all times, I couldn't leave the bed to use the bathroom. Josh's note in the notebook says, "6:40 am: First attempt at the bed pan: FAIL." There was never a second attempt. Major stage fright. Peeing in a bed pan in front of my husband and a nurse - no dice. Eventually, a catheter was used to drain my urine. And then a Foley bag a while later when my doctor realized that I produce A LOT of urine.
At 7:00 am there was a nurse change and Awesome Nurse Pam came back, as promised. Man was I glad to see her smiling face. She changed our "plan for today" on the white board to "Welcome Liam!" That's when it hit me that this was really happening.
Birth Story: Part II
I forgot to mention... We took a notebook to the hospital to record our thoughts and the events of labor and delivery. I knew I would be a little preoccupied, and I wanted a way to remember everything. I started-off writing in the notebook, and Husband took-over when things got heavy. Here is the transcription of the note pertaining to Part I.
2:30 pm: Registered at the adminission office.
2:55 pm: Hooked-up to monitors; baby heart rate and contractions.
Josh thoughts: The L&D room is NICE
Betsy thoughts: I have to lay in this bed the whole time?!?
3:10 pm: Betsy gets blood drawn for blood work and IV lock.
Pam said, "I'm getting busy with you tomorrow!"
4:40 pm: Cervadil is in; didn't hurt at all, have to pee, not allowed to for an hour.
Watching US Open final.
Dr. Meade said, "Now we hurry-up and wait."
Josh sending text updates to family and friends.
I'm having some contractions. I feel my stomach tighten and then minor discomfort. 10+ minutes apart. Not necessarily consistent.
Okay, now on to Part II.
Awesome Nurse Pam and I bonded immediately. I can't even begin to explain how much better that made the entire experience. She kept saying, "I'm getting busy with you tomorrow!" and "We're going to have so much fun tomorrow!"
The US Open final ended-up being on rain delay, which was REALLY annoying. It took us 30 minutes (no exaggeration) to find the correct channel and then it was on delay. NOW WHAT? I am really anxious to get up and move around. I didn't know what position would be "my position" (the position in which I am the most comfortable), but I knew it wouldn't be lying down in bed. By now (6:15 pm per the notebook), my contractions seem to be getting a little closer and more uncomfortable. I'm waiting for Awesome Nurse Pam to come back so I can ask to go to the bathroom. I'm about to pee the bed, which wouldn't be so bad since I'm sitting on two puppy pads (they weren't really puppy pads, but they sure looked like them). I would enjoy laying and sitting on these pads until I left the hospital. At this point, we're starving. In passing, Awesome Nurse Pam says something about bringing me dinner. I am ECSTATIC.
Eventually I got to pee, and it was time for Awesome Nurse Pam to leave. At 7:10 pm, I met Evil Night Nurse Katie. Pam will be back in the morning, and she tells Katie that "she wants me back." My contractions are close and inconsistent. When I say close, I mean CLOSE. They are happening every minute to three minutes. They are more intense than before, but they don't hurt. I am, however, starting to feel them in my back. I predicted this when I was pregnant. My time-of-the-month pain consists of one day of serious back pain, never cramps. So I knew I'd experience back labor. And it sucked.
Evil Night Nurse Pam mentions something about dinner and she wonders if Awesome Nurse Pam ordered me a tray, as the cafeteria is now closed. She leaves to check. She's gone for a long time, and when she returns she doesn't mention anything about food. She looks at the paper output (the one that shows my contractions) and she notices how close they are. This is when I find-out that I won't be able to eat anything. Evil Night Nurse Katie is worried that I'm progressing quicker than expected and doesn't want me to eat anything in case I'm in active labor. Awesome. Husband spends the next couple hours sneaking me Combos.
At 7:50 pm, Evil Night Nurse Katie started me on IV fluids (this is how I found-out she was evil. She ROCKED my arm when she hooked-up the fluids. I said something about being surprised by how much it hurt and she just laughed it off. EVIL! Over the course of my labor, two other nurses hooked me up to fluids and it didn't hurt one bit. EVIL I tell you! A week later it was still bruised). Liam's heart rate dropped, so she "wanted to have access to me" if it dropped again. Plus, if I wanted an epidural eventually they wanted an entire bag of fluids in me. She also moved me to my left side to help with Liam's heart rate.
The next few hours passed in a blur. We watched the US Open. We played on the laptop. Husband went to find dinner. I covertly consumed Combos (what's up alliteration! Totally unplanned). We chit chatted excitedly about not believing this was actually happening. We tried to sleep. Husband probably got 3+ hours, and I slept maybe 1 1/2 hours. My sleep consisted of dosing off in between contractions. I vaguely remember laying in bed contemplating waking-up Husband to help me work through the contractions. After an hour, I finally said, "Husband, I need you." It took him a little bit to shake his sleepiness, but he was by my side being supportive.
At 3:20 am Evil Night Nurse Katie removed to Cervadil. It didn't hurt going in, but it sure hurt coming out. More evilness! She checked my progress, and I was still only 1 cm. When I heard that I felt deflated. My contractions were actually hurting at this point. Nothing terrible, a 3 out of 10, but they definitely feel different than before. I am experiencing a lot of back pain. I will be hooked-up to Pitocin at 4 am, so now is my chance to shower, brush my teeth, and pee. Once the Pitocin is on, Liam and I will have to be monitored constantly.
Showering was interesting. Every minute or two I would stop what I was doing and sway through the contractions. Also, the act of showering was complicated by the fact that the shower head was attached to a hose that didn't have a base on the wall. So Husband stood outside the shower curtain and held-up the shower head. Best Husband Ever.
Back in bed, Evil Night Nurse added Pitocin to my IV drip at 4:50 am. I was terrified of the Pitocin. I had read so many things about it being awful. And awful it was.
Part III coming soon.
2:30 pm: Registered at the adminission office.
2:55 pm: Hooked-up to monitors; baby heart rate and contractions.
Josh thoughts: The L&D room is NICE
Betsy thoughts: I have to lay in this bed the whole time?!?
3:10 pm: Betsy gets blood drawn for blood work and IV lock.
Pam said, "I'm getting busy with you tomorrow!"
4:40 pm: Cervadil is in; didn't hurt at all, have to pee, not allowed to for an hour.
Watching US Open final.
Dr. Meade said, "Now we hurry-up and wait."
Josh sending text updates to family and friends.
I'm having some contractions. I feel my stomach tighten and then minor discomfort. 10+ minutes apart. Not necessarily consistent.
Okay, now on to Part II.
Awesome Nurse Pam and I bonded immediately. I can't even begin to explain how much better that made the entire experience. She kept saying, "I'm getting busy with you tomorrow!" and "We're going to have so much fun tomorrow!"
The US Open final ended-up being on rain delay, which was REALLY annoying. It took us 30 minutes (no exaggeration) to find the correct channel and then it was on delay. NOW WHAT? I am really anxious to get up and move around. I didn't know what position would be "my position" (the position in which I am the most comfortable), but I knew it wouldn't be lying down in bed. By now (6:15 pm per the notebook), my contractions seem to be getting a little closer and more uncomfortable. I'm waiting for Awesome Nurse Pam to come back so I can ask to go to the bathroom. I'm about to pee the bed, which wouldn't be so bad since I'm sitting on two puppy pads (they weren't really puppy pads, but they sure looked like them). I would enjoy laying and sitting on these pads until I left the hospital. At this point, we're starving. In passing, Awesome Nurse Pam says something about bringing me dinner. I am ECSTATIC.
Eventually I got to pee, and it was time for Awesome Nurse Pam to leave. At 7:10 pm, I met Evil Night Nurse Katie. Pam will be back in the morning, and she tells Katie that "she wants me back." My contractions are close and inconsistent. When I say close, I mean CLOSE. They are happening every minute to three minutes. They are more intense than before, but they don't hurt. I am, however, starting to feel them in my back. I predicted this when I was pregnant. My time-of-the-month pain consists of one day of serious back pain, never cramps. So I knew I'd experience back labor. And it sucked.
Evil Night Nurse Pam mentions something about dinner and she wonders if Awesome Nurse Pam ordered me a tray, as the cafeteria is now closed. She leaves to check. She's gone for a long time, and when she returns she doesn't mention anything about food. She looks at the paper output (the one that shows my contractions) and she notices how close they are. This is when I find-out that I won't be able to eat anything. Evil Night Nurse Katie is worried that I'm progressing quicker than expected and doesn't want me to eat anything in case I'm in active labor. Awesome. Husband spends the next couple hours sneaking me Combos.
At 7:50 pm, Evil Night Nurse Katie started me on IV fluids (this is how I found-out she was evil. She ROCKED my arm when she hooked-up the fluids. I said something about being surprised by how much it hurt and she just laughed it off. EVIL! Over the course of my labor, two other nurses hooked me up to fluids and it didn't hurt one bit. EVIL I tell you! A week later it was still bruised). Liam's heart rate dropped, so she "wanted to have access to me" if it dropped again. Plus, if I wanted an epidural eventually they wanted an entire bag of fluids in me. She also moved me to my left side to help with Liam's heart rate.
The next few hours passed in a blur. We watched the US Open. We played on the laptop. Husband went to find dinner. I covertly consumed Combos (what's up alliteration! Totally unplanned). We chit chatted excitedly about not believing this was actually happening. We tried to sleep. Husband probably got 3+ hours, and I slept maybe 1 1/2 hours. My sleep consisted of dosing off in between contractions. I vaguely remember laying in bed contemplating waking-up Husband to help me work through the contractions. After an hour, I finally said, "Husband, I need you." It took him a little bit to shake his sleepiness, but he was by my side being supportive.
At 3:20 am Evil Night Nurse Katie removed to Cervadil. It didn't hurt going in, but it sure hurt coming out. More evilness! She checked my progress, and I was still only 1 cm. When I heard that I felt deflated. My contractions were actually hurting at this point. Nothing terrible, a 3 out of 10, but they definitely feel different than before. I am experiencing a lot of back pain. I will be hooked-up to Pitocin at 4 am, so now is my chance to shower, brush my teeth, and pee. Once the Pitocin is on, Liam and I will have to be monitored constantly.
Showering was interesting. Every minute or two I would stop what I was doing and sway through the contractions. Also, the act of showering was complicated by the fact that the shower head was attached to a hose that didn't have a base on the wall. So Husband stood outside the shower curtain and held-up the shower head. Best Husband Ever.
Back in bed, Evil Night Nurse added Pitocin to my IV drip at 4:50 am. I was terrified of the Pitocin. I had read so many things about it being awful. And awful it was.
Part III coming soon.
Birth Story: Part I
I had a doctors appointment on the 3rd (a Friday). Based on that appointment, my doctor was convinced that I wouldn't make it to my due date. Little man was REALLY low in my pelvis and I was dilated and effaced. Husband and I spent that week waiting and wondering. I spent the week working and wishing that I wasn’t. I also spend the week analyzing EVERY SINGLE thing going-on with my body. Well, we learned early that Liam is stubborn like his mommy because he didn’t come that next week. At our appointment on the 13th, our doctor told us that he waited all week for a phone call (he was on a staycation) from us. He was convinced that it would happen Thursday night during the Vikings game when he was loaded. It didn’t.
At our appointment on the 13th (a Monday), we learned that I was still only 1 cm, very effaced, and little guy was even lower in my pelvis. Doctor still couldn’t believe that I hadn’t gone into labor. He laid-out our options: (1) He would strip my membranes right then and there and send us home to wait it out. He said, “But I don’t really like to strip membranes because it’s kind of like torture.” Um, WHAT?! Apparently it’s really painful. I replied with, “PASS.” (2) Do nothing right then and there and come back on Thursday. Husband and I were ready to get this party started, so I asked if we HAD to wait until Thursday. I’m so glad I asked because he said we could go to the hospital after the appointment for me to be induced. OPTION THREE, please! Doctor called the hospital and talked to the doctor on-call (Dr. Meade). He said, and this is a direct quote, “I’m sending over a patient to be induced. Can you drop some Cervadil in her?” So casual. Just drop it in! Husband and I died laughing. So the plan was to get checked-in, drop-in Cervadil around 4 pm, removed Cervadil 12 hours later, start Pitocin. SUPER excited, we headed to the hospital.
When we got to the hospital, we went to the L&D area of the women’s pavilion. Which was wrong. We needed to register first, which was on the other side of the hospital. I can’t imagine doing through this process while already in labor. It didn’t take terribly long, but it would have felt like an eternity if I was managing contractions. Benefit number one to being induced. Once registered, we walked back over to L&D to get checked-in.
This is when we met Awesome Nurse Pam. When I say awesome, I mean AWESOME. Pam was amazing. She sent me to the bathroom to put-on what would be my uniform for the next four days. She followed me in the bathroom to ask me some personal questions, one of which was if my husband beat me. I swear I’m not making this up. I literally laughed at her, and said no. After the questions, she explained that if I had to pee I needed to do it into the plastic bin in the toilet. Fun. Then Awesome Nurse Pam left the room (with the cookies I baked for the nurses), and we got ourselves situated.
Awesome Nurse Pam came back, and I signed some papers. She got me hooked-up to the monitors, took my blood pressure (for the first of 800 times), and put-in the IV lock. I warned her ahead of time that I tend to pee A LOT, so she showed me how to disconnect the two monitors, throw the cords over my shoulder, and go to the bathroom. And then she left again.
The monitor above shows the contractions and fetal heartrate for each woman hooked-up the monitors. This was the cheapest entertainment. I stared at the screen for hours. It was so much fun to see the women in the different stages of labor. It was obvious when women were just starting the process, when they were in transition, and when they were pushing. It was great.
Eventually, Dr. Meade came to “drop-in” the Cervadil, which is like a tampon for your cervix. There’s a huge string (picture a shoe string) and everything that dangles to your mid-thigh. Totally weird. The goal of Cervadil is to soften the cervix and get it to start dilating. Putting it in didn’t hurt at all, and I couldn’t feel it once it was in (other than the string). Dr. Meade left, and we settled in for a 12 hour wait. The US Open final was on, so I watched that on and off for the next few hours. Awesome Nurse Pam came in every 10 or 15 minutes to check-on me.
After a couple hours, things started to pick-up a bit…
At our appointment on the 13th (a Monday), we learned that I was still only 1 cm, very effaced, and little guy was even lower in my pelvis. Doctor still couldn’t believe that I hadn’t gone into labor. He laid-out our options: (1) He would strip my membranes right then and there and send us home to wait it out. He said, “But I don’t really like to strip membranes because it’s kind of like torture.” Um, WHAT?! Apparently it’s really painful. I replied with, “PASS.” (2) Do nothing right then and there and come back on Thursday. Husband and I were ready to get this party started, so I asked if we HAD to wait until Thursday. I’m so glad I asked because he said we could go to the hospital after the appointment for me to be induced. OPTION THREE, please! Doctor called the hospital and talked to the doctor on-call (Dr. Meade). He said, and this is a direct quote, “I’m sending over a patient to be induced. Can you drop some Cervadil in her?” So casual. Just drop it in! Husband and I died laughing. So the plan was to get checked-in, drop-in Cervadil around 4 pm, removed Cervadil 12 hours later, start Pitocin. SUPER excited, we headed to the hospital.
When we got to the hospital, we went to the L&D area of the women’s pavilion. Which was wrong. We needed to register first, which was on the other side of the hospital. I can’t imagine doing through this process while already in labor. It didn’t take terribly long, but it would have felt like an eternity if I was managing contractions. Benefit number one to being induced. Once registered, we walked back over to L&D to get checked-in.
This is when we met Awesome Nurse Pam. When I say awesome, I mean AWESOME. Pam was amazing. She sent me to the bathroom to put-on what would be my uniform for the next four days. She followed me in the bathroom to ask me some personal questions, one of which was if my husband beat me. I swear I’m not making this up. I literally laughed at her, and said no. After the questions, she explained that if I had to pee I needed to do it into the plastic bin in the toilet. Fun. Then Awesome Nurse Pam left the room (with the cookies I baked for the nurses), and we got ourselves situated.
Awesome Nurse Pam came back, and I signed some papers. She got me hooked-up to the monitors, took my blood pressure (for the first of 800 times), and put-in the IV lock. I warned her ahead of time that I tend to pee A LOT, so she showed me how to disconnect the two monitors, throw the cords over my shoulder, and go to the bathroom. And then she left again.
The monitor above shows the contractions and fetal heartrate for each woman hooked-up the monitors. This was the cheapest entertainment. I stared at the screen for hours. It was so much fun to see the women in the different stages of labor. It was obvious when women were just starting the process, when they were in transition, and when they were pushing. It was great.
Eventually, Dr. Meade came to “drop-in” the Cervadil, which is like a tampon for your cervix. There’s a huge string (picture a shoe string) and everything that dangles to your mid-thigh. Totally weird. The goal of Cervadil is to soften the cervix and get it to start dilating. Putting it in didn’t hurt at all, and I couldn’t feel it once it was in (other than the string). Dr. Meade left, and we settled in for a 12 hour wait. The US Open final was on, so I watched that on and off for the next few hours. Awesome Nurse Pam came in every 10 or 15 minutes to check-on me.
After a couple hours, things started to pick-up a bit…
Count Down to Baby: SOON
Today my spirits are better. So take THAT!
I realized this week just how hard it is to work and be this pregnant. I remember being sore and uncomfortable last week. After a three-day holiday weekend and one sick day, I noticed just how WRECKED I felt when I got home from work last night. My back hurt. I felt so much pressure in my lady bits. My feet were swollen. And I was mentally exhausted. What was I thinking working up until my due date?!?! Oh yeah, I’d rather spend the time off with my little guy than sitting and watching the US Open all day (It’s totally consuming my TV time).
I had an emotional turn-around last night. I realized that it was Wednesday night, and I only had two more days of work. And I realized that even if I didn’t go into labor on my own RIGHT NOW, we weren’t far from meeting Liam. As much as I want my body to do its thing and go into labor naturally, getting induced won’t be the end of the world. First, my body has already made progress. And it will likely have made even more progress by the time I get induced. So I won’t be starting from scratch, going zero to 60 really fast. Second, we can RELAX on the day of induction. We can wake-up, make coffee, and read the newspaper. We can calmly (albeit anxiously) go-over our packing list and bags. We don’t have to rush to the hospital. Third, I won’t have to play 20 questions with the hospital staff when I’m in active labor. Fourth, we can snuggle our babies (the dogs) all morning and give them lots and LOTS of love. Where I was an impatient, uncomfortable mess just two days ago, I am thankful, full of faith, and still uncomfortable today.
I think I have a problem… I am obsessed with baby clothes. I’m obsessed with sales, online and in store. I get email updates. Lots of them. All of which I need to UNSUBSCRIBE to. This kid needs to get here so I can realize that we have enough clothes for him. But let me tell you – L Bean has the CUTEST Thanksgiving outfit. We’re going to be at The Homestead over Thanksgiving (my parents have a time share). It’ll be our first trip with baby. Luckily it’s only a 2+ hour drive away. I’ve also been scoping Christmas pajamas, because obviously he needs to be festive. We are SO pumped to have family time Christmas morning. He won’t know the difference, but it’ll be nice to not rush-off right after waking-up. I’ve also been on the prowl for when the Christmas sweaters come out. Um, can we say Christmas card?!?! Don’t worry – he already has a Halloween onesie and the cutest little hat you’ve ever seen.
And who said dressing a boy wasn’t fun?! And yes, everything was on sale so operation “Don’t Pay Full Price For Baby Clothes” is still a success.
I’m beginning to feel better, thank you God. My throat doesn’t hurt anymore. See, another reason why L Bean waiting to make his entrance is a good thing. Mommy gets time to feel better. I would REALLY like to be able to breathe through my nose while in labor. Just a small request.
Wanna know what’s on my mind? Oh, just baby stuff… and NOTHING ELSE. I can’t focus on anything to save my life. All I can think about is: What will he look like? How much will he weigh? Holding him. Snuggling him. Kissing his nose. Him wrapping his little fingers around my finger. Nursing him. DRESSING him. Seeing Josh hold him. Will I cry when he’s born? Will Josh cry when he’s born? Not sleeping because of him. Seeing the dogs react to and fall in love with him. Play dates with friends. 12 weeks at home with him. My dad visiting in TWO WEEKS. I could keep going, but you get the picture. It’s BABY BABY BABY. There isn’t room for anything else.
I realized this week just how hard it is to work and be this pregnant. I remember being sore and uncomfortable last week. After a three-day holiday weekend and one sick day, I noticed just how WRECKED I felt when I got home from work last night. My back hurt. I felt so much pressure in my lady bits. My feet were swollen. And I was mentally exhausted. What was I thinking working up until my due date?!?! Oh yeah, I’d rather spend the time off with my little guy than sitting and watching the US Open all day (It’s totally consuming my TV time).
I had an emotional turn-around last night. I realized that it was Wednesday night, and I only had two more days of work. And I realized that even if I didn’t go into labor on my own RIGHT NOW, we weren’t far from meeting Liam. As much as I want my body to do its thing and go into labor naturally, getting induced won’t be the end of the world. First, my body has already made progress. And it will likely have made even more progress by the time I get induced. So I won’t be starting from scratch, going zero to 60 really fast. Second, we can RELAX on the day of induction. We can wake-up, make coffee, and read the newspaper. We can calmly (albeit anxiously) go-over our packing list and bags. We don’t have to rush to the hospital. Third, I won’t have to play 20 questions with the hospital staff when I’m in active labor. Fourth, we can snuggle our babies (the dogs) all morning and give them lots and LOTS of love. Where I was an impatient, uncomfortable mess just two days ago, I am thankful, full of faith, and still uncomfortable today.
I think I have a problem… I am obsessed with baby clothes. I’m obsessed with sales, online and in store. I get email updates. Lots of them. All of which I need to UNSUBSCRIBE to. This kid needs to get here so I can realize that we have enough clothes for him. But let me tell you – L Bean has the CUTEST Thanksgiving outfit. We’re going to be at The Homestead over Thanksgiving (my parents have a time share). It’ll be our first trip with baby. Luckily it’s only a 2+ hour drive away. I’ve also been scoping Christmas pajamas, because obviously he needs to be festive. We are SO pumped to have family time Christmas morning. He won’t know the difference, but it’ll be nice to not rush-off right after waking-up. I’ve also been on the prowl for when the Christmas sweaters come out. Um, can we say Christmas card?!?! Don’t worry – he already has a Halloween onesie and the cutest little hat you’ve ever seen.
I’m beginning to feel better, thank you God. My throat doesn’t hurt anymore. See, another reason why L Bean waiting to make his entrance is a good thing. Mommy gets time to feel better. I would REALLY like to be able to breathe through my nose while in labor. Just a small request.
Wanna know what’s on my mind? Oh, just baby stuff… and NOTHING ELSE. I can’t focus on anything to save my life. All I can think about is: What will he look like? How much will he weigh? Holding him. Snuggling him. Kissing his nose. Him wrapping his little fingers around my finger. Nursing him. DRESSING him. Seeing Josh hold him. Will I cry when he’s born? Will Josh cry when he’s born? Not sleeping because of him. Seeing the dogs react to and fall in love with him. Play dates with friends. 12 weeks at home with him. My dad visiting in TWO WEEKS. I could keep going, but you get the picture. It’s BABY BABY BABY. There isn’t room for anything else.
Weekend Update
It’s official: We are (materially) ready for L Bean’s arrival. I had another shower this past weekend with a handful of soccer friends (plus Mom and SIL). It was awesome. We played a few fun games, laughed A LOT, and reminisced about how we “used to be cool.” I got my Moby Wrap (WOOP!). I showed Husband how the wrap works during shower gift show-and-tell on the living room floor (and yes, these gift were also packed-away and organized within 30 minutes of their arrival as Casa de L Bean). I could tell by the look on his face that he wasn't loving, so we ordered him a Balboa sling in black. He's SUPER excited about it. Can't you just picture him walking-around the grocery store with Liam in a sling?! SWOONSVILLE. The sling is adjustable, so we can both use it. It wasn't cheap, so we plan on USING it.
After the shower, Husband and I headed to Target (thanks, Sarah and Josh!) and Babies R Us (“BRU”) to purchase the handful of items we still needed. BRU really knows how to sink their teeth into you. We have a rewards card, so we get tons of (surprisingly awesome) coupons in the mail. Also, last week we received our 15% off coupon for all items remaining on our registry (and you better believe I was on Babiesrus.com right before we left the house adding things to our registry "just in case"). Um, holler! We needed towels, a bathtub, bottles, and some bedding items (sheets, mattress protector, cradle pad, cradle sheets, etc). We also needed a going-home outfit in size Newborn (we haven’t the faintest how big he’s going to come-out, so we’re taking two outfits in two sizes). BRU was having a sales on all Carter’s clothing (TROUBLE), so of course we went-home with an extra (and might I say adorable – Husband picked-out) outfit. The total at BRU was $218 before coupons, and $171 after. I LOVE saving money. After two loads of laundry and 30 minutes of bed-making/organizing, his nursery is full of the necessities. I even pulled-together his downstairs changing basket (because let’s be honest here – I am NOT walking my butt upstairs EVERY time he needs to be changed). His hospital diaper bag is packed – two going-home outfits, amazingly soft and awesome blanket, nipple cream, baby mittens, and finger nail clippers (in case he comes-out with tiger claws). And the boppy is dressed and ready.
We didn’t get much done this weekend, and I’m feeling a little (okay, REALLY) guilty about it. I didn’t bake the cookie as planned. We didn’t vacuum or dust or clean the bathrooms. I did do some laundry, change the towels and sheets, and make rice krispy treats and muffins. Josh cut the (front) grass (you know, because no one can see the backyard but us). The cradle is still unfinished (and I’m panicking a little about it). I finished and mailed thank you notes. Our cars need a good internal cleaning, and then we need to install the car seat bases. I need to bake those “love me!” cookies for the nurses. I need to use-up those rotten bananas and bake banana bread. And I need to get enough done at work to get rid of the guilt I’m experiencing. We have two big deadlines in the fall, both of which I’m going to miss. We have a breastfeeding class this week (our last class!). All of this may not sound like much, but have I mentioned that I’m completely exhausted? And sleep is more difficult every night. My feet and back hurt. Doc warned me (a few weeks ago when I was feeling great and had energy) that it wouldn’t last and I would quickly start feeling like poop on a stick. Bonus points for Doc!
Notice above that I said we were “materially” ready. Husband texted me earlier this week to let me know that Friend’s water had broken. Her due date is (was) two weeks before mine. So she went two weeks early. I texted back with, “Holy cow, Husband, that could be us in TWO WEEKS!” A work-friend asked me last week if I was scared. If she were to ask that same questions right now, my answer would be very different. Heck yes, I’m scared! But I JUST got scared. Friend’s water breaking made things very real. DUDE, it’s going to HURT. And DUDE, I’m going to be a MOM. And DUDE, we’re going to be responsible for a BABY. And DUDE, babies cost a lot of MONEY. And DUDE, did I mention that labor HURTS? But what does it FEEL like? Is the pain sharp or is it dull and strong? And then there’s the unknown factor of when. Will my water break at work? Will my water break period (on its own)? Will I go into labor at night? Will he be two weeks early or will he be on time? Will I be induced? Will I tear? Will everything go smoothly? Does an epidural hurt and will I even care if it does hurt? Can I handle the pain? Will I need a c-section? Will I cry when he’s born? Will I poop while I’m pushing (yeah, I just went there)? Will his Apgar scores be good? I could bore you further with the Rolladex of questions rotating through my brain, but I think you get the picture. This is BIG and this is SCARY. And we’re going to be just fine, but right now it’s still scary.
After the shower, Husband and I headed to Target (thanks, Sarah and Josh!) and Babies R Us (“BRU”) to purchase the handful of items we still needed. BRU really knows how to sink their teeth into you. We have a rewards card, so we get tons of (surprisingly awesome) coupons in the mail. Also, last week we received our 15% off coupon for all items remaining on our registry (and you better believe I was on Babiesrus.com right before we left the house adding things to our registry "just in case"). Um, holler! We needed towels, a bathtub, bottles, and some bedding items (sheets, mattress protector, cradle pad, cradle sheets, etc). We also needed a going-home outfit in size Newborn (we haven’t the faintest how big he’s going to come-out, so we’re taking two outfits in two sizes). BRU was having a sales on all Carter’s clothing (TROUBLE), so of course we went-home with an extra (and might I say adorable – Husband picked-out) outfit. The total at BRU was $218 before coupons, and $171 after. I LOVE saving money. After two loads of laundry and 30 minutes of bed-making/organizing, his nursery is full of the necessities. I even pulled-together his downstairs changing basket (because let’s be honest here – I am NOT walking my butt upstairs EVERY time he needs to be changed). His hospital diaper bag is packed – two going-home outfits, amazingly soft and awesome blanket, nipple cream, baby mittens, and finger nail clippers (in case he comes-out with tiger claws). And the boppy is dressed and ready.
We didn’t get much done this weekend, and I’m feeling a little (okay, REALLY) guilty about it. I didn’t bake the cookie as planned. We didn’t vacuum or dust or clean the bathrooms. I did do some laundry, change the towels and sheets, and make rice krispy treats and muffins. Josh cut the (front) grass (you know, because no one can see the backyard but us). The cradle is still unfinished (and I’m panicking a little about it). I finished and mailed thank you notes. Our cars need a good internal cleaning, and then we need to install the car seat bases. I need to bake those “love me!” cookies for the nurses. I need to use-up those rotten bananas and bake banana bread. And I need to get enough done at work to get rid of the guilt I’m experiencing. We have two big deadlines in the fall, both of which I’m going to miss. We have a breastfeeding class this week (our last class!). All of this may not sound like much, but have I mentioned that I’m completely exhausted? And sleep is more difficult every night. My feet and back hurt. Doc warned me (a few weeks ago when I was feeling great and had energy) that it wouldn’t last and I would quickly start feeling like poop on a stick. Bonus points for Doc!
Notice above that I said we were “materially” ready. Husband texted me earlier this week to let me know that Friend’s water had broken. Her due date is (was) two weeks before mine. So she went two weeks early. I texted back with, “Holy cow, Husband, that could be us in TWO WEEKS!” A work-friend asked me last week if I was scared. If she were to ask that same questions right now, my answer would be very different. Heck yes, I’m scared! But I JUST got scared. Friend’s water breaking made things very real. DUDE, it’s going to HURT. And DUDE, I’m going to be a MOM. And DUDE, we’re going to be responsible for a BABY. And DUDE, babies cost a lot of MONEY. And DUDE, did I mention that labor HURTS? But what does it FEEL like? Is the pain sharp or is it dull and strong? And then there’s the unknown factor of when. Will my water break at work? Will my water break period (on its own)? Will I go into labor at night? Will he be two weeks early or will he be on time? Will I be induced? Will I tear? Will everything go smoothly? Does an epidural hurt and will I even care if it does hurt? Can I handle the pain? Will I need a c-section? Will I cry when he’s born? Will I poop while I’m pushing (yeah, I just went there)? Will his Apgar scores be good? I could bore you further with the Rolladex of questions rotating through my brain, but I think you get the picture. This is BIG and this is SCARY. And we’re going to be just fine, but right now it’s still scary.
Some Cool People Visited and I Got Showered
I had been counting down to last weekend for MONTHS. Now it's done and gone. Mega sad face. But it was a total blast.
Kerry and Caroline came to visit. We shopped and ate. It was divine. They got to see the nursery. They also tagged-along to the hospital for a tour and Kerry was my wingwoman for a pre-natal with a pediatrician (and she was a stellar wingwoman). The pre-admin nurse at HDH offered to give me a quickie tour since the official hospital tours fill-up three months in advance (which would have been nice to know!). So Jessica (SIL), Kerry, Caroline, and I went to the hospital bright and early Friday morning. Debra, pre-admin nurse, was AWESOME. She ended-up spending 30+ minutes with us. We saw everything. The L&D rooms. The postpartum rooms. The lobbies. The nurseries (CUTE CUTE CUTE babies were inside). I bet our impromptu tour kicked the official tour's butt! The L&D rooms were all remodeled within the past year, and they were beautiful. And really spacious. I was pleasantly surprised. I mean, they were HUGE. Being the planner that I am, seeing the hospital really made me feel more comfortable. And it was fun for K & C to see where I would be delivering, since they won't be able to visit until a while after L Bean's birth.
Saturday I got showered. A big thank you to Natalie, my mom, and Jessica for putting together such a great event. It was perfect. Josh and I are so blessed to have some amazing and generous friends and family. Here are some pictures of the shower:
Caroline took pictures while I opened gifts. Here is the one and ONLY picture where I'm making a semi-normal face:
And because I was literally laughing out-loud when I looked through the pictures, here are the many faces of opening baby gifts:
We unloaded our bounty (just for you, Caroline!) at home; and because I'm crazy, I did show-and-tell with Husband, and then we immediately unpacked, organized, broke-down boxes, and threw clothes in the laundry. L Bean's room looks ready now. Not so staged and perfect. It looks lived-in. Or at least ready to be lived-in.
On Sunday, K, C, Husband, and I went to a church that Husband and I had been too chicken to visit ourselves. It's a lot like the church K, C, and family attend in Michigan. It's big. It's loud. It's contemporary. The first time I attended a church like this, I must admit, I was completely intimidated. But now it's where I feel the most at home. Church doesn't have to be stuffy and boring. It doesn't require ties and tights. Kerry made good on her promise and shook lots of hands and kissed lots of babies (her words). Overall, we enjoyed the experience and plan to go back this weekend. On the way home, we were rear-ended. It was minor, but an accident all the same. We pulled-off the road and assessed the damage. It turns-out that the guy was coming from church, the very church we just visited. We couldn't help but laugh. He felt terrible and was completely embarrassed. And he really lost it when I stepped-out of the car, and realized that I was pregnant. Accidents are an inconvenience to all involved, but at least the guy was really nice and we had a good laugh with him. And everyone was A-okay and safe. Although, I definitely did obsess over EVERY little thing my body did for the next few hours.
The weekend passed entirely too quickly. Before I knew it, the shower was over and Kerry and Caroline were leaving. I napped like a champion Sunday afternoon. No baking was done (shock and awe!). No cleaning was done. No laundry was done. But it was the BEST weekend.
Kerry and Caroline came to visit. We shopped and ate. It was divine. They got to see the nursery. They also tagged-along to the hospital for a tour and Kerry was my wingwoman for a pre-natal with a pediatrician (and she was a stellar wingwoman). The pre-admin nurse at HDH offered to give me a quickie tour since the official hospital tours fill-up three months in advance (which would have been nice to know!). So Jessica (SIL), Kerry, Caroline, and I went to the hospital bright and early Friday morning. Debra, pre-admin nurse, was AWESOME. She ended-up spending 30+ minutes with us. We saw everything. The L&D rooms. The postpartum rooms. The lobbies. The nurseries (CUTE CUTE CUTE babies were inside). I bet our impromptu tour kicked the official tour's butt! The L&D rooms were all remodeled within the past year, and they were beautiful. And really spacious. I was pleasantly surprised. I mean, they were HUGE. Being the planner that I am, seeing the hospital really made me feel more comfortable. And it was fun for K & C to see where I would be delivering, since they won't be able to visit until a while after L Bean's birth.
 |
| Kerry |
 |
| Caroline |
 |
| Jessica |
Saturday I got showered. A big thank you to Natalie, my mom, and Jessica for putting together such a great event. It was perfect. Josh and I are so blessed to have some amazing and generous friends and family. Here are some pictures of the shower:
 |
| My sweet cousin Megan. Seriously, how cute is she?!? |
 |
| Maggie came! The shower date was 7 days before her due date. Such a trooper. |
 |
| Red velvet cake, my favorite! |
 |
| Some of the coolest women I know. |
 |
| Thank you, Natalie!!! |
 |
| Ella and Megan helped me open gifts. |
 |
| I don't think I've ever used the word "cute" so much in my life. |
 |
 |
| I think this one if my favorite. This face makes me think of the smell of Husband's farts on one of his good days. |
On Sunday, K, C, Husband, and I went to a church that Husband and I had been too chicken to visit ourselves. It's a lot like the church K, C, and family attend in Michigan. It's big. It's loud. It's contemporary. The first time I attended a church like this, I must admit, I was completely intimidated. But now it's where I feel the most at home. Church doesn't have to be stuffy and boring. It doesn't require ties and tights. Kerry made good on her promise and shook lots of hands and kissed lots of babies (her words). Overall, we enjoyed the experience and plan to go back this weekend. On the way home, we were rear-ended. It was minor, but an accident all the same. We pulled-off the road and assessed the damage. It turns-out that the guy was coming from church, the very church we just visited. We couldn't help but laugh. He felt terrible and was completely embarrassed. And he really lost it when I stepped-out of the car, and realized that I was pregnant. Accidents are an inconvenience to all involved, but at least the guy was really nice and we had a good laugh with him. And everyone was A-okay and safe. Although, I definitely did obsess over EVERY little thing my body did for the next few hours.
The weekend passed entirely too quickly. Before I knew it, the shower was over and Kerry and Caroline were leaving. I napped like a champion Sunday afternoon. No baking was done (shock and awe!). No cleaning was done. No laundry was done. But it was the BEST weekend.
I have ankles!
I had an appointment with Doc (I actually met with his NP because he’s on vacation) on Friday, and all is well in Liam Land. My blood pressure and urine are good (side note: I had to pee so badly that once I started I amost forgot about the cup part. I had to scramble a little. Don't worry, I washed my hands). His heartbeat sounds good. And he’s still head down (please stay that way, little guy!). NP was impressed that I still had ankles. Why, thank you. She also told me that I certainly didn't look like someone who was 31 weeks, and to essentially shut up and take the compliment. Yes ma'am.
I learned a valuable lesson that morning: DO NOT ask if the doctor can tell if the baby is still head down if there’s no ultrasound machine around. I asked. And NP proceeded to place both of her hands on my belly and push around REALLY hard. I was caught off guard by her force (homegirl was TINY and practically stood on her toes for this maneuver), and totally unprepared for the pain that made my breath catch in my throat. I wanted to say, “Hey NP! There’s a baby in there, and you just shoved him into my SPINE and any organs that haven’t been pushed-up into my chest (yet).” After the assault, L Bean was none too happy. He quickly jabbed back at her with a foot to MY side. Um, hey kid, while I can appreciate your frustration, that’s your momma you’re pounding! In all fairness, I asked for it, so I suppose it was deserved.
What’s new this week? L Bean must be going-through a killer growth spurt because I am spent. Like, I ran 7 miles yesterday but only slept four hours last night, spent. I have bags under my eyes (thankfully, no one has pointed them out to me). Come 2:00 pm, I contemplate putting my head down at my desk. This kid is still sleeping through the night like a champ, though. They say your baby’s sleeping habits while he’s cooking somewhat mirror his habits once he leaves the oven. YES, PLEASE. Believe me, I’m not banking on it. I just have my fingers (and toes) crossed.
We toured a child development center this week. It’s at a church that’s a ½ mile from our house. Score. We both got a really good feeling when we were there. The women who work with the infants are all older, so it’s like dropping your kid off at Grandma’s. I love that. There were four babies lying around and fighting over toys (these two were twins), and I wanted to pick-up and snuggle each one of them. Especially this one little chunker. She kept waving, smiling, and putting her hands up in the air like she wanted to be picked-up. I probably would have thrown my back-out trying, but man did I want to snatch her up and run. We’ve added our name to the waiting list, and as of right now there’s only one other baby on the list for care starting in December.
Did you know childcare is REALLY expensive? And we’ve found somewhere “cheap.” Also, did you know that you have to pay tuition even if your kid isn’t there? Holidays, vacations, sick days – you still pay. It makes sense, but it still sucky poos. One the good side, there are a few instruments available that provide some savings. There’s a child care tax credit. And you can set-up a dependent care FSA. Still, we’re talking A LOT of money. Sad face.
We still haven’t set-up interviews with any pediatricians. I have, however, created a (super awesome) list of pediatricians and questions. I just need to make the calls.
A tour of L&D at the hospital is also in the works. I called Thursday to inquire and schedule, but the office was closed. Hopefully I get a return call sooner rather than later. I also want to try and pre-register as much as possible – fill-out paper work, etc. I’m not a big fan of hospitals, so I’m not looking forward to the tour. Or the stay in two months. I bet having a cute baby to play with will make it ALL better though. I keep forgetting that we get to leave the hospital with more than what we arrived with. So. much. more.
During our birth class Thursday night, I looked at Mr. H and said, “Are you going to remember all of these breathing techniques? They are going to be the last thing on my mind, and I’ll probably need you to remind me.” No pressure, Husband! He nodded, but I wrote them down just in case. Last night was transition breathing (What’s transition? You go from 8 to 10 centimeters really fast with the help of really painful contractions that come really often. I guess HELL would have been a more concise description). I’ll probably just end-up panting and moaning (or screaming), if I’m not numb from the chest to my knees, that is. If an epidural is going to happen, my goal is to at least get to 6 (preferably 7) centimeters before begging for (more like, demanding) it. Epis can really slow things down, so I want to be as close to transition as possible. I don't want any narcotics, because they seem to only slightly dull the pain and make you feel loopy/drunk. Plus, they cross the placenta (aka - baby gets a dose). I asked Mr. H what he thinks my pain threshold will be. He thinks I’ll be pretty tough (but he HAS to say that). I hope he’s right.
I learned a valuable lesson that morning: DO NOT ask if the doctor can tell if the baby is still head down if there’s no ultrasound machine around. I asked. And NP proceeded to place both of her hands on my belly and push around REALLY hard. I was caught off guard by her force (homegirl was TINY and practically stood on her toes for this maneuver), and totally unprepared for the pain that made my breath catch in my throat. I wanted to say, “Hey NP! There’s a baby in there, and you just shoved him into my SPINE and any organs that haven’t been pushed-up into my chest (yet).” After the assault, L Bean was none too happy. He quickly jabbed back at her with a foot to MY side. Um, hey kid, while I can appreciate your frustration, that’s your momma you’re pounding! In all fairness, I asked for it, so I suppose it was deserved.
What’s new this week? L Bean must be going-through a killer growth spurt because I am spent. Like, I ran 7 miles yesterday but only slept four hours last night, spent. I have bags under my eyes (thankfully, no one has pointed them out to me). Come 2:00 pm, I contemplate putting my head down at my desk. This kid is still sleeping through the night like a champ, though. They say your baby’s sleeping habits while he’s cooking somewhat mirror his habits once he leaves the oven. YES, PLEASE. Believe me, I’m not banking on it. I just have my fingers (and toes) crossed.
We toured a child development center this week. It’s at a church that’s a ½ mile from our house. Score. We both got a really good feeling when we were there. The women who work with the infants are all older, so it’s like dropping your kid off at Grandma’s. I love that. There were four babies lying around and fighting over toys (these two were twins), and I wanted to pick-up and snuggle each one of them. Especially this one little chunker. She kept waving, smiling, and putting her hands up in the air like she wanted to be picked-up. I probably would have thrown my back-out trying, but man did I want to snatch her up and run. We’ve added our name to the waiting list, and as of right now there’s only one other baby on the list for care starting in December.
Did you know childcare is REALLY expensive? And we’ve found somewhere “cheap.” Also, did you know that you have to pay tuition even if your kid isn’t there? Holidays, vacations, sick days – you still pay. It makes sense, but it still sucky poos. One the good side, there are a few instruments available that provide some savings. There’s a child care tax credit. And you can set-up a dependent care FSA. Still, we’re talking A LOT of money. Sad face.
We still haven’t set-up interviews with any pediatricians. I have, however, created a (super awesome) list of pediatricians and questions. I just need to make the calls.
A tour of L&D at the hospital is also in the works. I called Thursday to inquire and schedule, but the office was closed. Hopefully I get a return call sooner rather than later. I also want to try and pre-register as much as possible – fill-out paper work, etc. I’m not a big fan of hospitals, so I’m not looking forward to the tour. Or the stay in two months. I bet having a cute baby to play with will make it ALL better though. I keep forgetting that we get to leave the hospital with more than what we arrived with. So. much. more.
During our birth class Thursday night, I looked at Mr. H and said, “Are you going to remember all of these breathing techniques? They are going to be the last thing on my mind, and I’ll probably need you to remind me.” No pressure, Husband! He nodded, but I wrote them down just in case. Last night was transition breathing (What’s transition? You go from 8 to 10 centimeters really fast with the help of really painful contractions that come really often. I guess HELL would have been a more concise description). I’ll probably just end-up panting and moaning (or screaming), if I’m not numb from the chest to my knees, that is. If an epidural is going to happen, my goal is to at least get to 6 (preferably 7) centimeters before begging for (more like, demanding) it. Epis can really slow things down, so I want to be as close to transition as possible. I don't want any narcotics, because they seem to only slightly dull the pain and make you feel loopy/drunk. Plus, they cross the placenta (aka - baby gets a dose). I asked Mr. H what he thinks my pain threshold will be. He thinks I’ll be pretty tough (but he HAS to say that). I hope he’s right.
Hospital Bag(s)
Last week I started a list for the things we need to bring to the hospital. Of course, the list is in Excel and it’s pretty. And yes, it makes me happy. And of course I researched the bajeezy out of this subject. Many of the places I looked actually broke-out the items into a couple different bags (here I was thinking one for me and MAYBE one for husband. I totally forgot the fact that we’ll leave the hospital with a baby). Some of you may be thinking, “Your due date isn’t until September, why in the HELLO are you worrying about this now?” Several reasons: (1) Have you met me? (2) See hyper-prepared reference below (3) I need to purchase a handful of items, and I don’t want to be waddling around Richmond in the 120 degree August heat buying-up nursing bras and mesh panties (4) Thanks to our general over-preparedness, I’m running-out of baby-related things to do.
As I’ve mentioned before, I tend to over pack. Okay, OKAY! I ALWAYS over pack. I don’t like stuff, I just like being prepared. Being over-prepared. Being HYPER-prepared. It’s how I get my jollies. I can just picture it now: Mr. H drops me off at the hospital entrance, goes to park the car, and then saunters into the hospital with four bags, a cooler, three pillows, a laptop, and a camera bag (that has both of our cameras inside). Poor husband. And then I remember that I’ll have a baby trying to depart my body through my vagina, and I don’t feel as badly for him (LOVE you husband).
Here’s my list so far:
General items:
(1) Car seat – DUH! Installed and ready to go. If I’m completely honest, I this didn’t cross my mind at first. I kind of forgot about the whole reason why we were going into the hospital in the first place.
(2) iPod + travel speakers – I definitely plan to listen to music, and I can’t promise that it will all be serene and calming. It won’t be Thrice or Taking Back Sunday, but there may be some Lady GaGa sprinkled in. Once I’ve made my mix, I’ll share the ear pleasing deliciousness with you.
(3) Cell phone + chargers
(4) Books/magazines – Because, you know, I’ll have so much idle time on my hands.
(5) Laptop and charger – Again, because I’ll be twiddling my thumbs. Hopefully HDH has wifi, and Mr. H can entertain himself. And let’s be honest – more than 24 hours away from the internet, and we will seize uncontrollably.
(6) Cameras – Along with extra battery packs, extra memory cards, and battery chargers. We’ll probably squeeze both of our cameras into my small messenger bag. I doubt I’ll ever touch mine, but I’ll take comfort knowing that it’s there JUST IN CASE.
(7) Change and $1 bills for the vending machines
(8) Gum/breath mints – I hadn’t thought of this one, but it makes total sense. Labor could be a loooong process, and there could be lots of close, face-to-face encouragement. You know what would make a laboring woman angrier? Stank breath in her face.
(9) Lollipops – Again, I hadn’t thought of this one, but it was suggested on nearly every website I read. Once you’re in the hospital, they won’t let you eat, so lollipops can help keep your blood sugar up, plus give the illusion that you’re eating something. And it’ll wet your whistle, since all those “ah-he, ah-whoos” will surely give you cotton mouth. I’m thinking dumdums.
(10) Chapstick – My drug of choice if Carmex. Yes, Carmex is my drug. And back to the “ah-he, ah-whooos;” these dry-out your lips. I did them for five minutes in our birth class, and I was frantically rooting around in my purse for my tube-o-lip-love. I can’t even imagine how hours of heavy mouth breathing will feel.
(11) Pillows – We’ll take two (maybe three). Hospitals give you one, maybe two if you ask. And they’re not going to be comfortable like your at-home pillow. Throw-on a pretty pillow-case, since it’ll be in ALL of the after birth pictures. Just be careful not to dirty it with birth nasties.
(12) Notepad + pen – I have a terrible memory, so I want to write-down the details of my labor and delivery. What’s happening, time-frames, what I’m saying, what I’m thinking, what Mr. H says, all of it. I don’t want to miss it. Mr. H has agreed to help chronicle our adventure. Our intentions may be in vain, but we’re at least going to try.
(13) Snacks – for Mr. H and after labor.
For baby:
(1) Going-home outfit – there’s no sense in packing clothes for the entire hospital stay. The hospital provides shirts and diapers. Plus, your little joy is bundled-up, so you won’t see that cute outfit anyway. And why create even MORE laundry?
(2) Receiving blanket – Some sources said don’t worry about it because the hospital provides blankets. Some said it’s nice to have your own. I think we’ll pack one of our own. And we’ll pack the super awesomely soft blanket my mom bought L Bean just because.
(3) Boppy pillow – For nursing in the hospital. You can use pillows to prop-up your baby, but a boppy is easier and more comfortable. Plus, it’ll be nice to use your own pillow that’s hasn’t been used by 800 other moms.
(4) Baby nail clippers or emery board – Just in case L Bean comes out with claws. I’ll probably throw-in a pair of scratch mittens too.
Other than these few items, the hospital provides most of what we’ll need. And much of which I plan to steal and take home with me.
For Mom:
(1) Cosmetic items for after labor – Shower items, face wash, hair brush, deodorant, toothbrush/toothpaste, lotion, etc. I’ll probably throw-in a small make-up bag too. After an experience that will likely leave me feeling rather inhuman, it will be nice to shower and put-on some mascara. I may be leaking every time I stand-up, but at least I’ll look pretty doing it!
(2) Robe – A thin, comfortable robe to wear over the hospital gown (because, hi, they’re open in the back) when I’m up-and-about. Everyone is going to see my goodies at some point, but I’d prefer it to not be on the walk to the bathroom.
(3) Slippers/socks – I’d like to be as mobile as possible for as long as possible. Hospitals are also cold.
(4) Nipple cream – Breastfeeding hurts until your poor nipples adjust to the extra attention.
(5) Nursing bras and pads – The hospital may provide pads, but I’m not taking any chances.
(6) Comfortable, big clothes for the hospital stay– I’m not sure how much I’m going to bring in the way of clothing. I’ll probably wear a hospital gown most of the time I’m there. It’s just easier, and maybe more comfortable. I’ll bring a pair of sweat pants, some nursing tank tops, a comfortable cardigan, and who knows what else.
(7) Disposable underwear – the hospital provides mesh panties and pads (all that stuff that’s been building-up in your body for 9+ months will be making a graceful exit through the path cleared by baby). I may pack a couple pairs of my own disposable undies and pads, just in case.
(8) A going-home outfit – Ideally I will wear home the same outfit I wore to the hospital; but given the fact that I’m over-prepared for everything, I’ll probably pack a separate outfit. Something loose and comfortable.
The thing I keep reminding myself with my bag is this: Mr. H can always run home to grab something. And to take-out the guess work, I’ll probably leave a stack of “I might need these” hospital items in an easy to access place.
I’m resisting the urge to make a list for Josh, but he’ll have a bag of his own. It’ll probably contain extra underwear, a t shirt, and extra shorts. Guys are so easy. I’ll throw-in his toothbrush with mine. He doesn’t wear deodorant. Yes, you read that correctly. Yes, he sweats. No, it doesn’t smell. Not even a little. Not even after a 90 minutes soccer game. He hasn’t worn it in YEARS. FREAK.
So that’s my list. If you made it this far, yay! If not, I don’t blame you. It’s only exciting to me and other pregnant ladies.
As I’ve mentioned before, I tend to over pack. Okay, OKAY! I ALWAYS over pack. I don’t like stuff, I just like being prepared. Being over-prepared. Being HYPER-prepared. It’s how I get my jollies. I can just picture it now: Mr. H drops me off at the hospital entrance, goes to park the car, and then saunters into the hospital with four bags, a cooler, three pillows, a laptop, and a camera bag (that has both of our cameras inside). Poor husband. And then I remember that I’ll have a baby trying to depart my body through my vagina, and I don’t feel as badly for him (LOVE you husband).
Here’s my list so far:
General items:
(1) Car seat – DUH! Installed and ready to go. If I’m completely honest, I this didn’t cross my mind at first. I kind of forgot about the whole reason why we were going into the hospital in the first place.
(2) iPod + travel speakers – I definitely plan to listen to music, and I can’t promise that it will all be serene and calming. It won’t be Thrice or Taking Back Sunday, but there may be some Lady GaGa sprinkled in. Once I’ve made my mix, I’ll share the ear pleasing deliciousness with you.
(3) Cell phone + chargers
(4) Books/magazines – Because, you know, I’ll have so much idle time on my hands.
(5) Laptop and charger – Again, because I’ll be twiddling my thumbs. Hopefully HDH has wifi, and Mr. H can entertain himself. And let’s be honest – more than 24 hours away from the internet, and we will seize uncontrollably.
(6) Cameras – Along with extra battery packs, extra memory cards, and battery chargers. We’ll probably squeeze both of our cameras into my small messenger bag. I doubt I’ll ever touch mine, but I’ll take comfort knowing that it’s there JUST IN CASE.
(7) Change and $1 bills for the vending machines
(8) Gum/breath mints – I hadn’t thought of this one, but it makes total sense. Labor could be a loooong process, and there could be lots of close, face-to-face encouragement. You know what would make a laboring woman angrier? Stank breath in her face.
(9) Lollipops – Again, I hadn’t thought of this one, but it was suggested on nearly every website I read. Once you’re in the hospital, they won’t let you eat, so lollipops can help keep your blood sugar up, plus give the illusion that you’re eating something. And it’ll wet your whistle, since all those “ah-he, ah-whoos” will surely give you cotton mouth. I’m thinking dumdums.
(10) Chapstick – My drug of choice if Carmex. Yes, Carmex is my drug. And back to the “ah-he, ah-whooos;” these dry-out your lips. I did them for five minutes in our birth class, and I was frantically rooting around in my purse for my tube-o-lip-love. I can’t even imagine how hours of heavy mouth breathing will feel.
(11) Pillows – We’ll take two (maybe three). Hospitals give you one, maybe two if you ask. And they’re not going to be comfortable like your at-home pillow. Throw-on a pretty pillow-case, since it’ll be in ALL of the after birth pictures. Just be careful not to dirty it with birth nasties.
(12) Notepad + pen – I have a terrible memory, so I want to write-down the details of my labor and delivery. What’s happening, time-frames, what I’m saying, what I’m thinking, what Mr. H says, all of it. I don’t want to miss it. Mr. H has agreed to help chronicle our adventure. Our intentions may be in vain, but we’re at least going to try.
(13) Snacks – for Mr. H and after labor.
For baby:
(1) Going-home outfit – there’s no sense in packing clothes for the entire hospital stay. The hospital provides shirts and diapers. Plus, your little joy is bundled-up, so you won’t see that cute outfit anyway. And why create even MORE laundry?
(2) Receiving blanket – Some sources said don’t worry about it because the hospital provides blankets. Some said it’s nice to have your own. I think we’ll pack one of our own. And we’ll pack the super awesomely soft blanket my mom bought L Bean just because.
(3) Boppy pillow – For nursing in the hospital. You can use pillows to prop-up your baby, but a boppy is easier and more comfortable. Plus, it’ll be nice to use your own pillow that’s hasn’t been used by 800 other moms.
(4) Baby nail clippers or emery board – Just in case L Bean comes out with claws. I’ll probably throw-in a pair of scratch mittens too.
Other than these few items, the hospital provides most of what we’ll need. And much of which I plan to steal and take home with me.
For Mom:
(1) Cosmetic items for after labor – Shower items, face wash, hair brush, deodorant, toothbrush/toothpaste, lotion, etc. I’ll probably throw-in a small make-up bag too. After an experience that will likely leave me feeling rather inhuman, it will be nice to shower and put-on some mascara. I may be leaking every time I stand-up, but at least I’ll look pretty doing it!
(2) Robe – A thin, comfortable robe to wear over the hospital gown (because, hi, they’re open in the back) when I’m up-and-about. Everyone is going to see my goodies at some point, but I’d prefer it to not be on the walk to the bathroom.
(3) Slippers/socks – I’d like to be as mobile as possible for as long as possible. Hospitals are also cold.
(4) Nipple cream – Breastfeeding hurts until your poor nipples adjust to the extra attention.
(5) Nursing bras and pads – The hospital may provide pads, but I’m not taking any chances.
(6) Comfortable, big clothes for the hospital stay– I’m not sure how much I’m going to bring in the way of clothing. I’ll probably wear a hospital gown most of the time I’m there. It’s just easier, and maybe more comfortable. I’ll bring a pair of sweat pants, some nursing tank tops, a comfortable cardigan, and who knows what else.
(7) Disposable underwear – the hospital provides mesh panties and pads (all that stuff that’s been building-up in your body for 9+ months will be making a graceful exit through the path cleared by baby). I may pack a couple pairs of my own disposable undies and pads, just in case.
(8) A going-home outfit – Ideally I will wear home the same outfit I wore to the hospital; but given the fact that I’m over-prepared for everything, I’ll probably pack a separate outfit. Something loose and comfortable.
The thing I keep reminding myself with my bag is this: Mr. H can always run home to grab something. And to take-out the guess work, I’ll probably leave a stack of “I might need these” hospital items in an easy to access place.
I’m resisting the urge to make a list for Josh, but he’ll have a bag of his own. It’ll probably contain extra underwear, a t shirt, and extra shorts. Guys are so easy. I’ll throw-in his toothbrush with mine. He doesn’t wear deodorant. Yes, you read that correctly. Yes, he sweats. No, it doesn’t smell. Not even a little. Not even after a 90 minutes soccer game. He hasn’t worn it in YEARS. FREAK.
So that’s my list. If you made it this far, yay! If not, I don’t blame you. It’s only exciting to me and other pregnant ladies.
Can't we snuggle first?
I had an awesome conversation with a pregnant person whom I’d just met this weekend. She asked when I was due, and then IMMEDIATELY asked if I was having a natural birth in such an accusatory tone that I felt like I was twelve being scolded by my mom. Oh, um, hi, my name is Betsy. I have a husband, two dogs, and two cats. I like long walks on the beach and candle lit dinners. I DON’T KNOW YOU, why are you asking me this?
The 5+ seconds it took me to recover and muster-up an answer were not a big enough clue that I was a taken aback. I answer, and crack a joke (because that’s what I do when I’m uncomfortable) to the other (much less invasive) person sitting next to me. Laugh, laugh, laugh, avoid eye contact with invasive pregnant lady, and hope the conversation ends. “Well, I………..” Oh geez, I strap myself in for awesomeness. She goes on to explain IN DETAIL about how she wants to avoid a C-section (um, don’t we all?), how she WAS delivering at Henrico’s Doctor’s Hospital but NOW she’s delivering at MCV because HDH has SUCH a high c-section rate. She told me about her sucky old doctor who didn’t answer her questions and just wanted to get her in and out of his office, and raved about her awesome new mid-wives. There's more, but I'll spare you the onslaught. After she had unloaded her unsolicited fill, she asked, “So, where are you delivering?” DROP BOMB: Henrico Doctor’s Hospital. AWKWARD.
Does she back down? NO. She doesn’t even flinch. I explain that I love my doctor, and that I trust him. I tell her about how I’ve had an ultrasound every time I’ve gone in (and I’ve only been charged for two). OH REALLY?!?! Yes, my doctor is warm and fuzzy, he answers all of my questions, and I’ve never felt like he was rushing to get through our appointment. He also said he could deliver my anywhere in the area, but we decided HDH is closest and most convenient. And then I say something along the lines of, “How I deliver is out of my hands (as in, it’s in God’s hands).” WHAT?!?! “My delivery is out of my hands.” HUH?!?! “My delivery is in God’s hands.” OH. Conversation ends.
What is it about pregnancy that makes people poke and prod and offer copious amounts of unsolicited advice? The advice part isn’t so bad. Babies make people excited, and they want to help. I get totally get it. It’s when someone questions me in a competitive (almost accusatory), I’m better than you manner that makes me ANGRY. I prefer to be wooed prior to such invasive conversations. Maybe I’m needy, but can’t we just snuggle first?
To quote one of my favorite people, “She was so NOT awesome.”
I want a shirt that says:
I’m due in September.
I feel GREAT.
It’s a Boy.
His name is Liam Axel.
My birth plan is NOYB (none of your business) because I don’t know you.
Don’t touch, my husband bites.
Mondays make me cranky, can you tell? And we stayed-up WAY too late (11 PM, crazy) last night watching a movie. It was commercial free, score! Pregnant, tried, cranky, HOT Betsy- WATCH OUT WORLD.
The 5+ seconds it took me to recover and muster-up an answer were not a big enough clue that I was a taken aback. I answer, and crack a joke (because that’s what I do when I’m uncomfortable) to the other (much less invasive) person sitting next to me. Laugh, laugh, laugh, avoid eye contact with invasive pregnant lady, and hope the conversation ends. “Well, I………..” Oh geez, I strap myself in for awesomeness. She goes on to explain IN DETAIL about how she wants to avoid a C-section (um, don’t we all?), how she WAS delivering at Henrico’s Doctor’s Hospital but NOW she’s delivering at MCV because HDH has SUCH a high c-section rate. She told me about her sucky old doctor who didn’t answer her questions and just wanted to get her in and out of his office, and raved about her awesome new mid-wives. There's more, but I'll spare you the onslaught. After she had unloaded her unsolicited fill, she asked, “So, where are you delivering?” DROP BOMB: Henrico Doctor’s Hospital. AWKWARD.
Does she back down? NO. She doesn’t even flinch. I explain that I love my doctor, and that I trust him. I tell her about how I’ve had an ultrasound every time I’ve gone in (and I’ve only been charged for two). OH REALLY?!?! Yes, my doctor is warm and fuzzy, he answers all of my questions, and I’ve never felt like he was rushing to get through our appointment. He also said he could deliver my anywhere in the area, but we decided HDH is closest and most convenient. And then I say something along the lines of, “How I deliver is out of my hands (as in, it’s in God’s hands).” WHAT?!?! “My delivery is out of my hands.” HUH?!?! “My delivery is in God’s hands.” OH. Conversation ends.
What is it about pregnancy that makes people poke and prod and offer copious amounts of unsolicited advice? The advice part isn’t so bad. Babies make people excited, and they want to help. I get totally get it. It’s when someone questions me in a competitive (almost accusatory), I’m better than you manner that makes me ANGRY. I prefer to be wooed prior to such invasive conversations. Maybe I’m needy, but can’t we just snuggle first?
To quote one of my favorite people, “She was so NOT awesome.”
I want a shirt that says:
I’m due in September.
I feel GREAT.
It’s a Boy.
His name is Liam Axel.
My birth plan is NOYB (none of your business) because I don’t know you.
Don’t touch, my husband bites.
Mondays make me cranky, can you tell? And we stayed-up WAY too late (11 PM, crazy) last night watching a movie. It was commercial free, score! Pregnant, tried, cranky, HOT Betsy- WATCH OUT WORLD.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
