Breastfeeding (Boys, this may be TMI)

Before Liam's arrival, I read about breastfeeding.  A lot.  It was the one thing that I was uber passionate (and excited) about.  I HAD to breastfeed.  It HAD to go well.  I HAD to be as prepared as possible.  If you can do it, breast is best, as they say.  It's best for baby and it's best for mom.  Did you know that  breastfeeding decreases a woman's risk for certain types of cancers?  I didn't until our birth class.  Just another reason to breastfeed.  It also burns extra calories (which believe me, you'll want once that baby is out and the belly and thighs are still there).  And um, hi, it's FREE.  Formula isn't cheap, friends.


I wanted to be successful at breastfeeding so badly that I was convinced I would fail or struggle.  I prayed and prayed.  Other than a healthy Liam (and mommy), there wasn't a single thing that I prayed about more.  Silly me for letting doubt creep in. 


Breastfeeding was amazing from the very beginning. Because of Liam's semi-traumatic entrance into the world, I didn't have a chance to breastfeed for a few hours (he made a trip to the nursery for monitoring instead).  Since I was hoping to pop him out and then immediately breastfeed, of course I panicked. I kept telling the nurses that I needed to breastfeed.  And I kept asking when I could breastfeed. But for no reason.  Not only did Liam latch-on right away, but my milk came in 36 hours after he was born.  I woke-up Wednesday night to nurse and noticed that my boobs were suddenly GIGANTIC.  Hello milk supply!


For me, the hardest part of breastfeeding initially was finding a position that was comfortable.  We brought the Boppy to the hospital, but I quickly learned that it wasn't very supportive.  First, it wasn't big enough.  Second, it was sturdy enough.  As a breastfeeding pillow (at least for us) the Boppy was worthless (as an infant positioner, however, it's awesome!).  The lactation consultant at the hospital (LC) recommended the football hold.  Eventually, Liam and I got the hang of the football.  After a week or so at home, it was clear that Liam had outgrown the football, so we transitioned to the cradle hold.  From the first cradle hold, it was obvious that Liam liked this hold the best.  You have to find that works best for you and your babe.  And a good pillow certainly helps.  We use a hand-me-down pillow that's actually meant for twins.  It's big and it's sturdy.  It's amazing. 


On one of our many trips to Babies R Us, we purchased a breast pump.  We got the Medela In Style Advanced.  I adore this pump.  Since my goal is to breastfeed for at least a year, I will need a dependable, efficient (read: FAST) breast pump for pumping at work.  In the hospital, the LC taught me how to set-up and use the pump. I don't remember when I first decided to use the pump, but I knew I wamted a healthy supply in our freezer before I went back to work.  Pumping in addition to nursing has tricked my body into producing more milk than Liam needs on a daily basis (technically it's over production.  Eventually, and I'm totally dreading the discomfort of this, I'll have to back-off the pumping in addition to nursing).  We have a TON of milk in the freezer.  By a ton, I mean 300+ ounces.  Probably way more than we'll ever need, but it feels so good to have the back-up.  If my supply suddenly dries up for whatever reason, we're covered for a few weeks (we're planning to buy a deep freeze this week which will allow the milk to last longer).  And did you know that you can donate breast milk?  Thank you 19 Kids and Counting for that tid bit.  The only down side to pumping is that my boobs fill-up and get uncomfortable at night when Liam goes longer periods into between sessions.  Which causes my let down to be STRONG.  Like, strong strong. Like, sorry Buddy that was my bad, strong.


Speaking of let downs... that's my only complaint about breastfeeding.  I hate the feeling.  HATE it.  It's especially strong when I'm full.  My mom describes it as a warm tingling, but I describe it more like a warm burning.  It doesn't hurt.  That's the wrong word.  It's mildly uncomfortable.  Annoying. 


Even though I'm breastfeeding, it is also important that we acclimate Liam to the bottle.  A friend told me about the Breastflow bottle. Instead of telling you all about it, I'll let you read for yourself if you're interested.  We introduced the bottle at three weeks.  Not too early, not too late.  Although he had a confused look on his face since Daddy was feeding him, he took to it quickly.  I've learned the hard way tha\t feeding him with a bottle doesn't work for me.  He just looks at me like, "Um, you have something WAY better to offer. I REFUSE!"   These days we do anywhere from one to three bottles a day, depending on how much time we spend out of the house.  I am yet to nurse in public.  Makes me nervous!  I'm sure it will happen eventually.  We need a decent nursing cover first.  I pumped in the car on the way home from Carter Mountain last weekend, and I used a blanket.  Not easy.

Notice the furrowed eyebrows.

I'm not going to lie, there have been a couple 2 am wake-up calls where I wished we could just add some powder and shake.  Overall, though, I've really enjoying breastfeeding.   I can't explain the bond I feel with my son when we nurse.  He makes the cutest sounds when he nurses.  He rests his hands in the sweetest places.  And he gets SO excited when he's really hungry, and I'm getting him situated.  Even in the middle of the night, I live for the Mommy-Liam time.

Birth Story: Part IV

When Awesome Nurse Pam arrived for the day shift, so did Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban.  I've expressed my love for my doctor before, but I love him even more after L&D Day.  At 7 am he walked in with a venti coffee and a smile that could make any girl weak in the knees.  He gave me a big hug and told me to hurry up because he's been looking forward to this for a week. 


First thing Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban did was check my progress. 5 cm. Woop, half way there!  He chit chatted for a few minutes, and then scurried away (to watch my monitor from the nurses station as I would later find out).  All the while, Awesome Nurse Pam is coming in and out, checking on me, the monitors, my fluids, my pain level, etc.  On a side note: IV fluids suck.  As if I wasn't swollen enough from pregnancy, add three or four bags of IV fluid to the mix.  I was a WHALE.  It took over a week for me to see my ankles again.


Shortly after Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban leaves, Awesome Nurse Pam comes in to discuss an epidural.  She asks if I'm ready for it (I'm 6 cm at this point), and I decline.  The pain is manageable, and I'm not ready to be confined to the bed.  I suggest that she come back in an hour and ask again.  Hopefully I would by 7 cm and, and ready for the epi.  At this point she informs me that the anesthesiologist is about to go into surgery so it's now or never.  By the time he would get out of surgery, I would probably be in transition and it would be too late.


It was a no-brainer to accept the epidural at that point.  The thought of transition and pushing without an epidural terrified me.  So enter Caterpillar Eyebrows Anesthesiologist (I don't know his real name).  When I was pregnant, I thought I would be nervous about the pain involved with an epidural.  When you're experiencing contractions every 30 to 90 seconds, the last thing you care about is the pain of getting an epidural.  You welcome it to ease the other pain.  I sat indian-style in the middle of the bed and leaned against Husband.  I couldn't get my back into the correct position, so Caterpillar Eyebrows Anesthesiologist had to try THREE times.  That's six needle sticks - three local and three epi tries.  To be honest, I don't even remember the pain involved, so it must not have been too bad.  Just some burning. Blood makes Husband queasy, so when he saw blood on the anesthesiologist's gloves, it was either sit down or hurl.  I remember him starting to lean oddly, and I said something to Awesome Nurse Pam about Husband needing to sit down.  So I spent the third and final epi try leaning against ANP.


With the epidural in, Awesome Nurse Pam got me re-situated in bed.  Within 15 minutes, I couldn't feel or move anything below my chest.  You get a heavy dose in the beginning, but thankfully that wears off.  After an hour or so, I could move my legs on my own.  Before that, if my legs slid off the pillow ANP had wedged between my legs, I had to ask Husband to move it back.  And let me tell you - a limp leg is WAY heavier than you'd think. Personally, I hated the epidural sensation (more on that in a different post).  However, I was pain free so that was nice.


At 9:15 am, Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban broke my water.  Since I was epiduraled, I didn't feel anything associated with my water being broken.  Not even a gush or wetness on the puppy pads I was laying on.  I am hoping that with the second one I get to experience my water breaking on its own.  Or at least get to feel it when the Doc does it.


Between my water breaking and pushing (heck, even pushing is a little blurry) everything is a blur.  Roughly three hours passed in what seemed like seconds. At 10:00 am, I was 8 cm, but could be stretched to 9 cm. At 10:40 am, I was 9 cm.  And then I got stuck at 9 cm for over an hour.  Twice Awesome Nurse Pam tried to push the remaining lip of my cervix back.  If I hadn't been numb, I bet that would have HURT.  She was successful the second time.  At 8 cm, I started to feel pressure in my pelvis.  At first I thought I was feeling pain, so I clicked the epidural button a few times for an extra dose.  Within 15 minutes, I was SUPER numb again and really annoyed with myself.  Once I realized I was feeling pressure, I made Husband take the button away from me because I WANTED to feel the pressure.  I knew the pressure would make me want to push more and harder when the time came.  The pressure didn't hurt, but it was definitely uncomfortable.  It also didn't make me feel an urgency to push like I had hoped it would.


What I DO remember over the three hours is Dr. Extraordinaire Shaban coming in and out of my room checking on my progress.  He wanted to check my cervix every 30 minutes, ANP kept quipping at him to be patient.  Him and Awesome Nurse Pam (who had obviously worked together a lot before) kept bickering back and forth.  It was seriously entertaining.  Every time Liam's heart rate dropped, ANP keep saying he was "trying to show off for us again."  I think that was her way of trying to not alarm me.  But it was pretty obvious from the unspoken words exchanged between ANP and DES that the situation could turn bad quickly.


Also, my mom came to the hospital to hang out in the room around 10 am.  I talked to her on the phone, and I was obvious that she wanted so badly to be there.  She didn't want to impose, but I could tell that she NEEDED to be with her daughter.  And to be honest, it was so nice having her there.  We chit chatted on and off, she talked with DES (he's a family friend), and knitted nervously.  Husband and I actually invited her to stay for pushing, but she respectfully declined. She said that Liam's actual birth needed to be a moment between just Husband and me.  In hindsight, that was an incredibly unselfish move.  I KNOW she would have loved to experience that with us, but she knew how important that moment would be.

When it was time to push, it was clear that DES wanted Liam out NOW.  I didn't realize until my head was clear just how close he was to being a c-section baby.  At 11:58 pm, the bed was set-up to start pushing and ANP started prepped the room for Liam's arrival.

P.S. Sorry about the five parts. There's just too many details, and Part IV would have been way too long.

1 Month Old

Our first month with Liam went by at an alarming rate (so alarmingly fast that I'm writing this post at 6 weeks and two days).

Nicknames: Boo Boo, Boo Boo Bear, Bubba, Booger, Booger Butt, Boogs, Little Man

Things I Could Do Without: We're waiting for you to sleep more than three hours at a time at night.  We're ready, Little Man!  The inconsolable screaming fits when you're overstimulated or overly tired are torture.  The only thing to fix it is sleep, but getting you to actually fall asleep when you're in that state nearly takes an act of God.

Item/Toy We Love The Most: Your swing.  It's our go-to to calm you down or get you to sleep when nothing else works.  Your SLEEP SHEEP.

Item/Toy You Love The Most:  You LOVE your activity play mat.  You thrash your arms and kick your legs the whole time. And you could lay there and look at/talk to yourself in the mirror for hours (or untill you got overly tired and have a meltdown).  You grabbed-on to one of the hanging toys (this one was the stuffed monkey that has two rings on the bottom) all by yourself (I can't remember if this actually happened last week at five weeks or at four weeks).  I can't tell if it was 100% intentional, but you held on to it for a solid five minutes.

Things I’m Loving Most Right Now: I find it so adorable that you vigorously suck on your fist when you wake-up and realize your belly is empty. And when we're getting ready to nurse, you don't root, but you do mimic the suction action with your mouth when you're nowhere near your final destination.  You get so excited when it's time to eat!  Also, you take a while to fully wake-up from a good nap.  I love to scoop you up before you're fully awake and lay on the bed with you snuggling and waking-up on my chest. 

General:

You love to pee and poop on your Daddy.  I don't know what it is about him, but he's your favorite target.

You LOVE bath time.  We warm-up the bathroom with a space heater so it's toasty warm for you.  You lay in the tub, and we spray water all over your little body.  You look like you're in heaven. You even love having your hair washed.

You LOVE having your head rubbed.  You take after your Mommy and Daddy with that. 

Birth Story: Part III

Once I was hooked-up to the Pictocin, my contractions really started to pick-up.  By pick-up, we're talking every 30 to 90 seconds.  Thankfully, they didn't last more than 30 to 45 seconds.  Because they were short, they were manageable.  When the Pitocin was started, I was in the hospital bed.  And there I had to remain until Evil Night Nurse Katie was satisfied that I wouldn't react badly.  Every once and a while, Liam's heart rate would still drop.  I could tell this was really making Evil Night Nurse Katie nervous.  Her poker face sucked.

Laboring in the bed was horrible. There was no way to get comfortable, and I felt completely confined. Evil Night Nurse Katie had me laying on my side to help with Liam's heart rate.  My left side completely fell asleep.  I asked to switch to my right.  And then that side completely fell asleep.  She also had me wearing the oxygen mask.  I wore this mask for the rest of my labor, only taking it off a few times.  The mask made breathing through contractions more complicated.  And it smelled like plastic, which was awesome since my nose was buried in it. With each contraction, I would grip handles on the side of the bed and concentrate on breathing and relaxing the rest of my body.  During my third trimester, I created a "labor and delivery" mix on my iPod.  Thank goodness for that music.  Everything online said to make a mix of calm, soothing music, but I knew better.  I needed happy music. So I made a mix of John Mayer, Florence and the Machine, all three Twilight sound tracks, The Postal Service, Sara Barellias, Colbie Calait, and the like.  Best decision ever.  There were multiple times that I was singing in-between contractions. 

At 6:22 am, I was allowed to move to the birthing ball.  A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Before I sat on it, Evil Night Nurse Katie put a puppy pad under it and draped puppy pads over it.  I don't know if you knew this, but you leak a lot during (and after) labor.  Each internal exam produces bloody gloves. And don't even get my started on the fluids. 

When I got on the birthing ball, the Pitocin was also turned down.  My contractions were on-top of each other, and it was obvious that my body was taking over.  Josh's notes in the notebook say, "Contractions are more frequent and more painful."  True, but the birthing ball made them SO much easier to manage.  It was positioned right next to the bed.  Close enough for me to rest my arms and head on the bed.  In between contractions, I was upright and rocking back and forth.  During contractions I either put my head down on the bed and rocked or rolled my head back and rocked.  All the while, Josh was standing behind me so I could lean back if needed.  I didn't want my shoulders or feet massaged during each contraction.  I only wanted my head rubbed/scratched.  It really helped to relax me. 

In our birth class, the teacher told us about how contractions come on like a wave, peak, and then fade to nothing.  It's SO true.  They really did come on like a wave, starting small and growing.  And when it was done, it was done.  No pain.  Nothing.  Maybe some pressure if you were farther along in labor and the baby was dropped.  The worst part about the contractions was that they were ON TOP of each other.  The pain was manageable.  But the frequency was wearing on me.

Since me and Liam needed to be monitored at all times, I couldn't leave the bed to use the bathroom. Josh's note in the notebook says, "6:40 am: First attempt at the bed pan: FAIL."  There was never a second attempt. Major stage fright.  Peeing in a bed pan in front of my husband and a nurse - no dice. Eventually, a catheter was used to drain my urine.  And then a Foley bag a while later when my doctor realized that I produce A LOT of urine.

At 7:00 am there was a nurse change and Awesome Nurse Pam came back, as promised.  Man was I glad to see her smiling face.  She changed our "plan for today" on the white board to "Welcome Liam!"  That's when it hit me that this was really happening.

Birth Story: Part II

I forgot to mention... We took a notebook to the hospital to record our thoughts and the events of labor and delivery.  I knew I would be a little preoccupied, and I wanted a way to remember everything.  I started-off writing in the notebook, and Husband took-over when things got heavy.  Here is the transcription of the note pertaining to Part I.

2:30 pm: Registered at the adminission office.

2:55 pm: Hooked-up to monitors; baby heart rate and contractions.

Josh thoughts: The L&D room is NICE
Betsy thoughts: I have to lay in this bed the whole time?!?

3:10 pm: Betsy gets blood drawn for blood work and IV lock.

Pam said, "I'm getting busy with you tomorrow!"

4:40 pm: Cervadil is in; didn't hurt at all, have to pee, not allowed to for an hour.

Watching US Open final.

Dr. Meade said, "Now we hurry-up and wait."

Josh sending text updates to family and friends.

I'm having some contractions.  I feel my stomach tighten and then minor discomfort.  10+ minutes apart.  Not necessarily consistent.

Okay, now on to Part II.

Awesome Nurse Pam and I bonded immediately.  I can't even begin to explain how much better that made the entire experience.  She kept saying, "I'm getting busy with you tomorrow!" and "We're going to have so much fun tomorrow!" 

The US Open final ended-up being on rain delay, which was REALLY annoying.  It took us 30 minutes (no exaggeration) to find the correct channel and then it was on delay.  NOW WHAT?  I am really anxious to get up and move around.  I didn't know what position would be "my position" (the position in which I am the most comfortable), but I knew it wouldn't be lying down in bed.  By now (6:15 pm per the notebook), my contractions seem to be getting a little closer and more uncomfortable.  I'm waiting for Awesome Nurse Pam to come back so I can ask to go to the bathroom.  I'm about to pee the bed, which wouldn't be so bad since I'm sitting on two puppy pads (they weren't really puppy pads, but they sure looked like them).  I would enjoy laying and sitting on these pads until I left the hospital.  At this point, we're starving.  In passing, Awesome Nurse Pam says something about bringing me dinner.  I am ECSTATIC.

Eventually I got to pee, and it was time for Awesome Nurse Pam to leave.  At 7:10 pm, I met Evil Night Nurse Katie.  Pam will be back in the morning, and she tells Katie that "she wants me back."   My contractions are close and inconsistent.  When I say close, I mean CLOSE.  They are happening every minute to three minutes.  They are more intense than before, but they don't hurt.  I am, however, starting to feel them in my back.  I predicted this when I was pregnant.  My time-of-the-month pain consists of one day of serious back pain, never cramps.  So I knew I'd experience back labor.  And it sucked.

Evil Night Nurse Pam mentions something about dinner and she wonders if Awesome Nurse Pam ordered me a tray, as the cafeteria is now closed.  She leaves to check.  She's gone for a long time, and when she returns she doesn't mention anything about food.  She looks at the paper output (the one that shows my contractions) and she notices how close they are.  This is when I find-out that I won't be able to eat anything.  Evil Night Nurse Katie is worried that I'm progressing quicker than expected and doesn't want me to eat anything in case I'm in active labor.  Awesome. Husband spends the next couple hours sneaking me Combos.

At 7:50 pm, Evil Night Nurse Katie started me on IV fluids (this is how I found-out she was evil.  She ROCKED my arm when she hooked-up the fluids.  I said something about being surprised by how much it hurt and she just laughed it off.  EVIL!  Over the course of my labor, two other nurses hooked me up to fluids and it didn't hurt one bit.  EVIL I tell you!  A week later it was still bruised).  Liam's heart rate dropped, so she "wanted to have access to me" if it dropped again.  Plus, if I wanted an epidural eventually they wanted an entire bag of fluids in me. She also moved me to my left side to help with Liam's heart rate. 

The next few hours passed in a blur.  We watched the US Open. We played on the laptop. Husband went to find dinner. I covertly consumed Combos (what's up alliteration!  Totally unplanned).  We chit chatted excitedly about not believing this was actually happening.  We tried to sleep.  Husband probably got 3+ hours, and I slept maybe 1 1/2 hours.  My sleep consisted of dosing off in between contractions.  I vaguely remember laying in bed contemplating waking-up Husband to help me work through the contractions.  After an hour, I finally said, "Husband, I need you."  It took him a little bit to shake his sleepiness, but he was by my side being supportive.

At 3:20 am Evil Night Nurse Katie removed to Cervadil.  It didn't hurt going in, but it sure hurt coming out. More evilness!  She checked my progress, and I was still only 1 cm.  When I heard that I felt deflated.  My contractions were actually hurting at this point.  Nothing terrible, a 3 out of 10, but they definitely feel different than before.  I am experiencing a lot of back pain.  I will be hooked-up to Pitocin at 4 am, so now is my chance to shower, brush my teeth, and pee.  Once the Pitocin is on, Liam and I will have to be monitored constantly. 

Showering was interesting.  Every minute or two I would stop what I was doing and sway through the contractions.  Also, the act of showering was complicated by the fact that the shower head was attached to a hose that didn't have a base on the wall.  So Husband stood outside the shower curtain and held-up the shower head.  Best Husband Ever.

Back in bed, Evil Night Nurse added Pitocin to my IV drip at 4:50 am.  I was terrified of the Pitocin.  I had read so many things about it being awful.  And awful it was.

Part III coming soon.

Birth Story: Part I

I had a doctors appointment on the 3rd (a Friday).  Based on that appointment, my doctor was convinced that I wouldn't make it to my due date. Little man was REALLY low in my pelvis and I was dilated and effaced. Husband and I spent that week waiting and wondering. I spent the week working and wishing that I wasn’t. I also spend the week analyzing EVERY SINGLE thing going-on with my body. Well, we learned early that Liam is stubborn like his mommy because he didn’t come that next week. At our appointment on the 13th, our doctor told us that he waited all week for a phone call (he was on a staycation) from us. He was convinced that it would happen Thursday night during the Vikings game when he was loaded. It didn’t.

At our appointment on the 13th (a Monday), we learned that I was still only 1 cm, very effaced, and little guy was even lower in my pelvis. Doctor still couldn’t believe that I hadn’t gone into labor. He laid-out our options: (1) He would strip my membranes right then and there and send us home to wait it out. He said, “But I don’t really like to strip membranes because it’s kind of like torture.” Um, WHAT?! Apparently it’s really painful. I replied with, “PASS.” (2) Do nothing right then and there and come back on Thursday. Husband and I were ready to get this party started, so I asked if we HAD to wait until Thursday. I’m so glad I asked because he said we could go to the hospital after the appointment for me to be induced. OPTION THREE, please! Doctor called the hospital and talked to the doctor on-call (Dr. Meade). He said, and this is a direct quote, “I’m sending over a patient to be induced. Can you drop some Cervadil in her?” So casual. Just drop it in! Husband and I died laughing. So the plan was to get checked-in, drop-in Cervadil around 4 pm, removed Cervadil 12 hours later, start Pitocin. SUPER excited, we headed to the hospital.

When we got to the hospital, we went to the L&D area of the women’s pavilion. Which was wrong. We needed to register first, which was on the other side of the hospital. I can’t imagine doing through this process while already in labor. It didn’t take terribly long, but it would have felt like an eternity if I was managing contractions. Benefit number one to being induced. Once registered, we walked back over to L&D to get checked-in.

This is when we met Awesome Nurse Pam. When I say awesome, I mean AWESOME. Pam was amazing. She sent me to the bathroom to put-on what would be my uniform for the next four days. She followed me in the bathroom to ask me some personal questions, one of which was if my husband beat me. I swear I’m not making this up. I literally laughed at her, and said no. After the questions, she explained that if I had to pee I needed to do it into the plastic bin in the toilet. Fun. Then Awesome Nurse Pam left the room (with the cookies I baked for the nurses), and we got ourselves situated.

Awesome Nurse Pam came back, and I signed some papers. She got me hooked-up to the monitors, took my blood pressure (for the first of 800 times), and put-in the IV lock. I warned her ahead of time that I tend to pee A LOT, so she showed me how to disconnect the two monitors, throw the cords over my shoulder, and go to the bathroom. And then she left again.

The monitor above shows the contractions and fetal heartrate for each woman hooked-up the monitors.  This was the cheapest entertainment.  I stared at the screen for hours.  It was so much fun to see the women in the different stages of labor. It was obvious when women were just starting the process, when they were in transition, and when they were pushing.  It was great.


Eventually, Dr. Meade came to “drop-in” the Cervadil, which is like a tampon for your cervix. There’s a huge string (picture a shoe string) and everything that dangles to your mid-thigh. Totally weird. The goal of Cervadil is to soften the cervix and get it to start dilating. Putting it in didn’t hurt at all, and I couldn’t feel it once it was in (other than the string). Dr. Meade left, and we settled in for a 12 hour wait. The US Open final was on, so I watched that on and off for the next few hours. Awesome Nurse Pam came in every 10 or 15 minutes to check-on me.


After a couple hours, things started to pick-up a bit…

Funny Story: One

Liam's birth story is in draft form. While I'm working on that, I want to share a funny story with you.  The title of this post is Funyn Story: One, which implies that there are more funny stories to come.  If you infered as much, you were correct!  I don't know if you knew this, but babies are FUNNY. Sometimes, the funny really isn't so funny, but your only option is to laugh.  And let me tell you, we've laughed, A LOT. Which for a period of time really sucked for me (I bet you have no idea just how many muscles you flex when you laugh. And sneeze, cough, blow your nose, yell, etc.), but more on that later.  Anyway, here's that story:

Liam and I were released from the hospital on a Thursday.  Our pediatrician wanted us to come in for a weight-check on Saturday.  Our first time venturing out of the house with Booger (by far our favorite nickname for L). How exciting!  Before leaving, Husband and I discussed how awesome it would be if Liam didn't have a blow out on our first trip out.  So we had a quick chat with our new son, politely asking him to be nice and not need a change, and we headed-out.

It was our first trip to the pediatrician, so I had some paperwork to fill-out.  We were sitting in the waiting room filling out the paperwork when we heard Liam let one blow.  Every time (EVERY TIME) my son poops, I hear it loud and clear.  Sometimes the walls shake, for real.  Husband and I both laugh, but all I'm really thinking is, "Thank GOODNESS I'm filling-out this paperwork."  So Husband takes him back to the bathroom for a change.  Of course one minute later the nurse calls Liam's name.  I tell her that my husband took Liam back to change him.  She goes to wait for Husband after she takes me to the exam room.  I settle-in the and finish the paperwork.  Five minutes later, Husband is still gone, and I'm starting to worry.

I head to the bathroom where I think Husband took Liam, and there are two nurses waiting outside the door.  I knock on the door saying, "Josh?"   I hear, "Yeeees."  "Do you need help?" "Yeees."  Mommy to the rescue!  I open the door and immediately start laughing (and holding my lady bits).  It looks like a tornado touched-down in the bathroom.  Liam is naked.  There are baby clothes and wipes EVERYWHERE.  And Husband looks a little panicked.  I say, "What happened?!?!"  Liam pooped, a lot.  And then Husband was changing him, he pooped more and everywhere.  And then he peed all over himself, the changing pad, changing table, and Josh. .  Josh has ONE wipe left (We had packed at least 20), and he had gone-through a few diapers.  All the while, Liam has this look of, "Did I do that?" on his face.  Again, laughing is all you can really do. 

We made it home without further incident... Other than the little man meltdown on the way home.  Someone was hungry, and someone wanted to eat RIGHT NOW.  It was the first time we really heard him wail.  My heart broke.  And of course we hit EVERY red light.

For Funny Story: Two, I'll explain this picture: